Learning Curves
by Roza-Dimka-Reader
Summary: Sequel to Hook, Line and Sinker. Rose and Dimitri are learning how to deal with the new occurences in their lives. With a newborn, tense jobs, and a few unknown enemies...how will Dimitri and Rose cope?
1. Chapter 1

**The sequel has arrived at last :P Let me know what you think :)**

**Chapter 1**

I could feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness…not fully asleep and yet not awake either.

I had been wheeled away to recovery not long after giving birth to my beautiful baby boy Luka Belikov-Hathaway. It was just a well. I had been exhausted. Just before hand, the midwife had taken him from my arms to weigh, measure and check him over once again.

Being nearly a month early, he was a small-ish baby – only 6 pounds 8 ounces. The nurse told us that was perfectly normal. He had all 10 fingers, all 10 ten toes and was 100% healthy which was all that mattered to Dimitri and I.

I opened my eyes properly now and recognised the private room I had been wheeled into a few hours ago.

"Hey," Dimitri said quietly and got up from where he had been sitting on a chair by the bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked me, stroking my head.

I closed my eyes at his relaxing touch.

"Amazing," I answered and opened my eyes again. His eyes sparkled with happiness. "How about you?"

"Amazing as well," he answered and pulled the chair closer. He sat down and leaned his head against the side of mine. "Did you sleep okay?"

"More than okay," I told him. "Have you been home?" I realised that he looked much cleaner and well rested than he had when I'd left him.

"Yes," he answered. "Once I told everyone who had to be told, and called everyone who had to be called, mama and Lissa stayed with you while I went to shower. I brought some magazines and stuff with me in case you get bored here," he said and pointed to another bag of stuff from home.

I smiled and caressed his cleanly shaven cheek with my hand.

"Where's Luka?"

"The nurses are looking after him. They said they'd bring him in when you were awake." He told me. He leaned over me and pressed some button near my head, calling a nurse to our room.

The midwife appeared a couple of minutes later.

"Ah, how are we in here?" she said quietly. "Sleep well?"

"Very," I answered her as she helped me sit up in my bed. Dimitri adjusted the pillows behind my head. I sighed contently, secretly loving being looked after.

"I'm guessing you want to see your little fellow?" she asked me, smiling motherly.

"Yes please," I grinned at her, dying to hold my Luka again.

"I'll be back in just a moment then," she said and left. She arrived back not two minutes later with a small bundle wrapped in a blue blanket in her arms.

"Here we are little guy," the midwife said to him, handing him over into my outstretched arms. He snuggled into me and I felt complete. He was like a jigsaw piece, fitting perfectly into my arms.

The midwife left then with a promise to be back in a few short moments.

"Hi baby," I said quietly to him, my voice automatically going a few tones higher. I couldn't help it. "How are you today?"

His dark eyes gazed back at me and I found myself taking in every single detail about him. His eyes weren't a solid chocolate brown colour like Dimitri's – they had flecks of darker brown the same shade as mine around his pupils. His gorgeous eyes were massive, framed with long, dark eyelashes. I honestly wasn't far away from counting how many hairs he had on his head.

I reached a finger out and stroked the dark tuft on the crown of his head. It felt more like fluff than hair. It was incredibly soft.

"I may be a bit biased…" Dimitri said to me, "But is he not the most gorgeous baby you've ever seen." I grinned at him.

"I think I'm probably as biased as you are," I chuckled.

"Did any of the others see him yet?" I asked Dimitri, looking up at him.

"Not yet," he told me. "They wanted to wait for you to be awake." I smiled, dying to see Lissa's reaction when she sees her godson for the first time.

Luka made a soft noise, drawing both mine and Dimitri's attention back to him. He obviously didn't like the attention being diverted away from him.

"I'm sorry baby," I whispered to him. Dimitri placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He grumbled a little again. I watched as the perfect tanned skin on his tiny forehead scrunched up a little and he wiggled.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked Dimitri, feeling a little panicked.

Dimitri was saved from answering me when the door opened and the midwife walked back in.

"Oh dear," she said, chuckling. "Are we getting a little hungry, little one?" she said to Luka. "Are you going to breastfeed, dear?" she asked me kindly.

"Yes," I answered her. That was one thing I had talked to Dimitri about before actually going into labour. He hadn't minded and told me it was completely up to me. But it was something I wanted to do.

"Okay, then, you want to give it a try now? He may not get the hang of it straight away: it takes some babies a while to get used to it," she informed me.

"Sure…" I said, feeling a little nervous. This was something completely new to me…and it's not like Dimitri could coach me through it.

"Don't worry, honey, I'll help you," she smiled gently at me and held her hands out to hold Luka for a moment. Once he was safely settled in her arms, Dimitri helped me get comfortable.

The nice midwife, whose name I found out was Carmel coached me through the entire experience. I would have thought it would've been uncomfortable, but she was just so easy going and motherly that it didn't matter if she saw me half naked.

It took Luka a little while to get the hang of what he was supposed to do. Even though Carmel had said it was normal, I still got worried that maybe he wouldn't get the hang of it and I wouldn't be able to feed him.

After about a minute however, he latched on to me and began sucking hard. I jumped in surprise at the sudden movement.

It was safe to say that breast feeding was the strangest feeling ever. It was also the most fulfilling.

I looked at Dimitri, feeling almost like laughing. "This feels so weird!" I said to him, quietly though so as not to disturb Luka from his lunch.

He looked up from where he was staring at Luka feeding with amazement. "Good weird?"

I just grinned in response and looked back down at our baby, who was suckling happily.

Carmel wheeled a small glass incubator into the room with a card on the side with both mine and Luka's information on it. She informed us that he could stay in here with me from now on.

Dimitri went to fetch Lissa and whoever else was out in the waiting room. I revelled in the few quiet moments alone with my baby. I realised it was the first time the two of us had been completely alone together.

"Hi baby," I whispered to him. He had stopped suckling and I watched as his brown eyes closed, reopened and then closed once again. "Are you sleepy?" His eyes shut completely and I held him close to my body. "I know how you feel."

I pulled my top back down to cover myself and leaned further back into my pillow.

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Hey!" Lissa walked in quickly, followed by Olena, Ivan and finally, Dimitri.

"Hey guys," I greeted them.

"Let me see!" Lissa squealed and peeked into Luka's face.

"He is so adorable," she whispered, seeing that he was asleep. "Hi Luka," she stroked his small hand.

"You wanna hold him?" I asked her. Already knowing what her answer was going to be, I held him out towards her. She carefully supported his delicate head and held him gently in her arms.

Olena came over and fussed over me as Ivan chatted with Dimitri at the side.

"Ivan?" Ivan looked over when Lissa called his name. She held Luka out to him. "Want to meet your godson?"

Ivan looked nervously at the baby. Dimitri clasped his shoulder in a guy way of saying 'it's okay.'

He took Luka from Lissa and I watched his face soften as he studied him.

"When you're older," he told him, "I'm gonna teach you how to pick up girls. You're daddy here was never very good at it, but it was okay, because he had me as his wingman. You're gonna have me as well. To be honest, I'm not even sure how he managed to snatch your mommy up," Dimitri scoffed, making me grin even wider.

"First things first," Ivan continued, "_Always _leave 'em wanting more," I laughed outright.

"I think that's enough lessons for today," Dimitri announced to Ivan, grinning happily and holding his hands out to hold the baby. He looked still a little tired, but so happy. It made my heart soar.

Dimitri brought our baby over to Olena.

"Mama, this is Luka. Luka, this is your Grandmama," Dimitri introduced them sweetly. Olena held her hands out and took Luka expertly in her arms.

"Hi baby," her eyes welled up at meeting her newest grandchild. "I'm so happy to finally meet you. When your daddy and mommy first told me that they were expecting you, I didn't think I could be any happier…I know now that I was wrong." She gave a small watery small as she rocked him gently. "You're so beautiful like your mama, and so handsome like your dada. He was a gorgeous baby too – I've been meaning to show your mama some old pictures of him but we never got the chance to sit and talk." She lifted her head and smiled at me. She walked over and placed Luka back into my arms. He was now sleeping soundly.

I began to feel a little drowsy then. Dimitri noticed and came to take Luka out of my arms. I reluctantly handed him over and watched Dimitri as he placed Luka in his temporary bed with ease.

"Sleep now, Roza," Olena whispered to me and pulled the fresh blankets up to my chin and tucked me in. I smiled and closed my eyes, falling asleep to the sounds of their voices speaking softly to each other in the background.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just wanted to say Thank You so much! Nearly 40 favourites and over 60 followers after only one chapter - it's the best present I'm going to get this year!**

**Chapter 2 of Learning Curves :) It's mainly an Ivan point of view - consider it your Christmas present!**

**Merry Christmas Everyone - hope you all have a good one! :D**

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"Hey, Ivan?" Paul started. "Where do babies come from?"

I froze in surprise. _Damn, I should've known having a new baby cousin would trigger questions from Paul. _

"Eh…ask your Uncle…he knows more about it than I do," I answered quickly, praying the six year old wouldn't press me for proper answers.

"Kay," he replied and I sighed in relief. He scampered off ahead of me and into the hospital lobby.

"Paul! Get back here!" His mother, Karolina called from where she was trying to get her one year old, Zoya, out of the car.

"I'll get him," I told her and jogged across the parking lot until I reached the revolving glass doors. Once inside, I began scanning over the crowd for the little boy. I called his name twice, straining to hear him answer back over the noisy hospital lobby but no such luck. Just as I was about to start panicking a little, I spotted him in the gift shop near the café.

"Paul, you shouldn't run off like that; you mom was worried," I scolded him when I reached him. I wasn't angry at him, not at all…but Dimitri would castrate me if I let something happen to his only nephew.

"I'm sorry," Paul mumbled back, looking down in shame. He never liked when either Dimitri or myself got mad at him. I was about to tell him it was alright when I noticed that he was standing in front of a range of small stuffed animals.

"You want one?" I asked him, gesturing to the soft toys and mentally counting how much money I had brought with me in my head.

"I want to get one for Luka," he replied, his brown eyes staring up at me. I had to admit, I was a little surprised. I'd never met a child who would give up getting to toy just so he could get one for another one. Then again, I shouldn't have been surprised – the kid was related to Dimitri after all.

"You don't want one for yourself?" I asked him.

"No, I want to get one for Luka – I want him to be my friend," he told me, his innocent eyes shining.

"Okay then," I gave in. "Which one do you think he'll like?" I crouched down beside him while he picked one, then changed his mind and picked another one, over and over again.

"Hey, what about his one?" I asked him, picking up a small monkey that had been squashed in the back of the shelf.

"Yeah!" Paul exclaimed. "That one!"

"Alright then," I replied and straightened myself to my full height. We approached the counter and I paid seven dollars for the toy.

I turned around it was then that I realised I was being watched…by two pretty hot women who were in the shop also.

I sent them my signature cheeky grin that had women melting at my feet. They grinned back and approached me.

"Hey, that was really sweet," the blonde said, pointing to where Paul was gripping the monkey tightly and humming to himself.

"Yeah, it's so hard to meet hot guys who are so sensitive," the second girl said, placing her hand on my arm.

_Bingo._

"Well, I do try my best," I replied and they started giggling and twirling their hair in between their fingers.

"Ivan! Paul!"

I turned when I heard my name being called. Karolina was standing there with Zoya in her pram. She waved and Paul ran off towards her, excitedly showing her the toy he had gotten for his baby cousin. The girls immediately quietened and started backing away. I realised what the problem was.

"Oh! No no no…I'm not with her!" I explained quickly. "They're not my kids…they're my friends niece and nephew."

Understanding lit up on both of their faces and they grinned again.

"Well, we gotta go but here," the first girl handed me a small slip of paper on it with I knew held eight very important digits.

"Yeah, it was great to meet you," the second girl said and discreetly handed me her own number.

"Nice to meet you two too," I gave them a flirty smile as they walked away. I stashed the numbers in my jeans pocket and walked over to where Karolina was smirking at me.

"What?" I asked her when she didn't move.

"Nothing…it's just, you and Dimitri have the same 'l'm gonna get lucky' face," she giggled. I rolled my eyes and we walked towards the elevators.

We reached the floor that Rose was on and I helped Karo with the pram.

"Which room is it again?" she asked, looking at the different doors on the way down the corridor.

"This one, I think," I pointed to the next one on the right. I gave a soft knock.

There was a quiet 'Come in' so we entered.

I grinned at the sight before me.

My best friend was gazing down at his son, who was currently lying in his mother's arms, in awe. Both of their faces were smiling happily at the little bundle in her arms. I studied both of them closely. They both looked a little more refreshed than they had been, but Rose still looked exhausted. Despite that, both she, and her boyfriend, were glowing with the after effects of just having a baby.

They both looked up at the visitors.

"Hey," Dimitri greeted us quietly. Rose just smiled and went back to looking at her son.

"Uncle Dimka," Paul tugged on Dimitri's leg. "Can I see?"

Dimitri grinned at him and pulled him up into his lap, and then gently lifted him onto the bed. Dimitri kept a grip on him in case he jostled the bed too much. Paul peeked into the small blue blanket.

"Hi Luka," Paul said quietly. "I'm your cousin Paul." Karolina let Zoya out of her pram and she stumbled unevenly across the small room to Dimitri, who then snuggled her up in his lap.

"And this is Zoya," Paul continued, "Your other cousin."

I moved closer to the small group around the bed. From a closer view, I saw that Luka was beginning to doze off, his tiny eyelids closing over his brown eyes, and then snapping open once again, only to fall straight back down again.

"Did I make him bored?" Paul looked up at Rose and asked her.

"No, of course not sweetie," Rose replied and ruffled Paul's hair. "He's just very sleepy."

"Oh," Paul said in understanding. "Well I wanted to give him a present." Paul handed the small stuffed monkey to Dimitri. "Will you give it to him for me, Uncle Dimka?"

"Of course, Paul," he replied. Paul climbed back down off the bed then and returned to his mother's side.

"We were just passing and thought we'd stop in for a few minutes," Karolina told them. "How are you?" she asked Rose.

"I'm great," Rose replied. "We think that they might let me go home this evening," she announced, smiling happily.

"That's great," Karolina replied. "He's so beautiful," she said, caressing the two day old baby's cheeks gently with her index finger. "Dimitri, could I talk to you outside for a minute?"

"Sure," Dimitri replied and stood up slowly, being careful not to wake the dozing Zoya in his arms. Paul took his mother's hand the four of them left the room.

**DIMITRI POV**

"Everything alright?" I asked Karolina after I had shut the door gently behind us.

"Fine." She replied and laid Zoya's head on her shoulder. "Come take a walk with me."

We walked slowly down the ward and eventually ended up in the hospitals cafeteria. After ordering two cups of coffee, we sat at one of the small tables.

I waited patiently for her to start talking. She sipped her coffee. As the silence stretched on, I started to get a little nervous. I wasn't sure if he was mad at me or something.

"How are you?" she asked suddenly, looking up from her coffee.

"I'm good – great actually," I replied.

"That's good," she replied. "Listen Dimitri, I just wanted to talk to you now that the baby's here." I sat up straighter in my seat.

"I know what it's like to raise a baby on my own – two actually. It's not easy. And I know that you'd never do it to Roza, but please – help her out with everything. I know right now, everything seems so happy and lovely, but the truth is, you guys are going to have some rough days. I've grown to love Roza like a sister – and I don't want her to go through what I went through when I had Paul." She took a deep breath. I cut her off before she could begin speaking again.

"Karo – thank you, really, but there's no need to lecture me anymore. I honestly plan to do everything I can to help raise our baby. And more importantly, I _want _to do all those things. Roza and Luka are the two most important people in my life, and I will do everything in my power to keep them happy and safe."

My sister smiled at my protectiveness and we said no more on the subject. After a little while, we got up to return to Roza's room.

**IVAN POV**

"You're going to drive Dimitri mad with that, you know," I informed Rose, pointing to where Luka had begun to feed. I was doing everything in my power not to look down at the exposed breast in front of me. Dimitri would skin me alive if he ever found out that I was thinking about his girlfriend's breasts, let alone actually see them.

"With what?" Rose asked, looking up at me.

"_That," _I replied, nodding my head towards her half-exposed chest.

"Yeah,_ I'm_ going to drive _him _mad," she grumbled to herself.

"Trouble in paradise?" I laughed at her scowling face.

"That's exactly the problem!" she exclaimed, scaring Luka. He whimpered a little but quietened back down again when Rose held him tighter and shushed him in comfort. She redirected her attention back to me. "There isn't any paradise," she continued.

"What do you mean? You guys look pretty cosy to me." I told her in confusion. "And don't think I've forgotten about the whole broken bed incident," I added, giving her a wink.

"Six weeks." She replied, ignoring my dig. I waited for her to explain further. I prodded her on when she didn't.

"What?"

"The doctor said we can't have sex for at least six weeks," she grumbled.

Most people would laugh at her pouting face, but not me. No. No sex for six weeks? I'm never having a kid.

"That's harsh," I told her, grimacing at the mere thought.

"Tell me about it," she replied.

"I'll have to give Dimitri some of my porn stash," I said, more to myself than her. "Six weeks! I feel bad for you guys."

"I knew you'd understand," she grinned at me.

"Speaking of sex," I got on my feet. "I have two very beautiful women waiting anxiously for me to call them," I winked at Rose and produced the two numbers from my pocket.

"Ugh, don't make me jealous," she growled.

I laughed. "You're jealous that you don't get to have sex with women?" I joked with her.

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Sex with women isn't anything to roll your eyes at, madam," I mock scolded her. "Don't judge until you've tried it."

"Who said I never tried it?" she asked me innocently.

My head shot up, searching her face and eyes to see if she was joking or not. I couldn't tell.

"Have you?" I asked her, yearning to know the answer.

"Use your imagination." She said and winked at me. She returned her attention to the baby in her arms. I was about to push her for more answers when the door opened and both Dimitri and Karolina walked back in, Paul and Zoya in their arms.

I sighed in defeat and bade them all goodbye.

That woman would be the death of us all.


	3. Chapter 3

**I know, I know – short chapter. But some of you so desperately want an update. :P**

**To melove (**_**guest): **_**In case you didn't notice, it's the Christmas season. If I'm not mistaken, I wrote and uploaded the last chapter on **_**Christmas Eve**_**, when I should have been celebrating with my family and friends. Maybe Christmas for you is quiet and peaceful, or maybe you don't celebrate it, but for me (and a lot of people) you have zero time to sit down. So, I'm sorry if I can't update as often as you would like me to, but it is just physically impossible to – especially over busy family holidays.**

**But to everyone else who reviewed: thank you so so much! You guys are brilliant – I will never forget ye're support and encouragement all through Hook, Line and Sinker, and now with Learning Curves :) Happy New Year everyone :D**

**Chapter 3**

"You got everything?" I asked Dimitri for the tenth time as we prepared to leave the hospital.

"Yes, Rose, I have everything," he replied for the tenth time.

"Clothes?" I questioned.

"Check."

"Bags?"

"Check."

"Pillow?"

"Check."

"Diapers?"

"Check."

"What am I forgetting?" I asked him, searching the room for the hundredth time.

"The baby?" he chuckled at me. He waited for me to get settled in the loaned wheelchair and then handed me Luka, who had been asleep for the last two hours.

Dimitri wheeled us down to the exit, where he had parked the car. I made sure Luka was well wrapped up before we were wheeled outside. There probably wasn't much point as it was May and it was the complete opposite of cold outside, but still. We had dressed him in a tiny blue onesie that Lissa had given us as well as a matching baby blue hat.

The drive home was smooth and peaceful, and I was finally glad to be out of that hospital. There was a small part of me however, that was a little apprehensive about going home. In the past three days, I had so many nurses who had helped me feed, and change him, as well as stop him crying and get him to go to sleep. I had no experience with babies whatsoever and now I had to take care of one.

I felt the same gratefulness I had felt so many times when I thought about how lucky I was to have Dimitri. He had taken my pregnancy in his stride, and I just knew he was going to be such a natural at this as well.

"We're here," he smiled at me. "You ready?"

"Yup," I replied and climbed out of the car. Dimitri had arrived around my side of the car by the time I was fully on my feet. I was still a little weak and I knew he was worried, so I let him carry Luka up the stairs and into the apartment.

"Surprise!"

Dimitri's family greeted us when we walked through the door. My girlfriends were there as well as Eddie, Mason, Ivan and Christian. There were various 'Welcome Home' and 'It's a Boy' signs scattered around the walls and blue decorations stuck wherever there would have been a visible surface.

"Thanks guys," I grinned. Olena hugged me tightly and ushered me to the couch so I could sit down. Dimitri carefully placed our baby in my arms and went down to the car to get the stuff.

I laid my head back against the familiar couch and closed my eyes as the women cooed around Luka, who had woken up and was sucking on his small fist.

"Can I hold him?" I opened my eyes and smiled as I handed Luka over to Viktoria at her at her request.

I drifted in and out of consciousness for a while and I vaguely heard Dimitri return. I lay my head down on his shoulder when he sat himself beside me.

I felt heart do a small flutter when he slowly entwined our fingers.

I catnapped peacefully on Dimitri's shoulder, while his family and our friends took turns holding and playing with Luka. It was nice to sit down and just listen for once. Instead of being right in the middle of the hustle-bustle. I closed my eyes and felt a sense of peace when all I could hear was everyone's happy voices.

That was until Luka started crying, of course.

I sat up from where I had been dozing as Dimitri took Luka from Ivan.

"I don't think he likes you, man," Christian joked with Ivan.

And god help me, Ivan actually looked _worried._

"Ivan, he's joking," I laughed and Ivan relaxed a little. "He's probably hungry," I added to Dimitri, who was currently trying to quieten Luka, who was only crying louder and louder. I stood up and took the baby from his arms and decided it would be better if I fed him in the bedroom.

"How can something_ that_ small make a noise that's _that_ loud," I vaguely heard one of the guys say as I closed the door behind me.

"Ssh baby," I propped a pillow up against the headboard and lay back against it. Luka continued to cry until I finally let him feed.

While he suckled away, I took in the sight of our bedroom. It felt like it had been a _long _time since I had been here. It looked the same as always, but I had definitely missed it. As much as I loved the help I had been receiving in the hospital, it was so good to be home once again.

Even though I had only been in the hospital for a couple of days, I had missed quite a bit. Lissa had graduated nursing school the day before yesterday. Being close to my due date, Dimitri and I had decided that we wouldn't go to be on the safe side…it was just as well we didn't!

I was broken out of my thoughts by a soft knock on the door. I covered myself a little before I realised it was just Dimitri.

"Hey," he said quietly and shut the door behind him as gently as possible, not wanting to disturb our tranquillity.

"Hi," I breathed back. He sat down beside us and placed a small kiss on my temple. We hadn't really had much time together over the hustle and bustle of the last few days, and I could tell that he missed me. I had missed him a lot too.

We sat in silence for a while and just watched our baby start to slowly drift off to sleep once again.

"He's so cute," I said out loud, not really talking to anyone but just making a statement. "How is he so cute?"

Dimitri chuckled and caressed Luka's cheek with his forefinger. "Probably because you're his mother," he said. I scoffed, but then gave him a warm small. He leaned in and leant his forehead against mine.

"I love you, Roza," he whispered and kissed me sweetly.


	4. Chapter 4

**melove (guest) - woah, I'm sorry! I really am - I totally misinterpreted your review when I read it. Apologies for the misunderstanding :) Glad you like the story and happy to receive any further reviews :D**

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***This is only a short, filler chapter – I'm not really happy with it to be honest – probably because I'm surrounded by people who keep distracting me :/ and none of them know that I write so they don't mean to do it :/**

***Thank you for all of your reviews :) – for both this story, and Hook Line Sinker (and any of my other stories) :D**

***Also, I am currently trying to write **_**4 stories **_**at the same time – and that's not including my drabbles, so forgive me if there's a break between each new update. I'm trying to work out a system where none of them get abandoned so be patient with me :P**

**Chapter 4**

I was tired.

No. I was exhausted.

Luka had slept for only one hour last night, and only two hours the night before; meaning both Dimitri and I had been up all of that time too.

Combining our efforts, we had eventually gotten him off to sleep about 7am.

My usual reaction would be to climb straight back into bed and sleep for the next 24 hours…but not today.

Lissa's wedding was coming up in a little less than two months, and I had a dress to fit in to.

Meaning I had some work to do.

I went for one of my long runs – the ones that I used to do before I got pregnant. Summer was approaching, and the gentle, warm breeze blowing over my skin and through my hair just released all the tension that had built up over the last two nights. I took it easy as I jogged down one of my many familiar trails – I even took a break and sat down on a park bench to catch my breath and make sure I wasn't pushing myself too hard after only being released from hospital a couple of days.

Thanks to the continuous exercises I had done before and throughout my pregnancy, I hadn't an awful lot of weight to lose. I still wanted to tone myself up again.

Dimitri was awake on the couch when I returned home feeling happy and refreshed, albeit quite tired.

"Hey," he said quietly. "How was your run?"

"It was great," I told him, mimicking his hushed tone. "Is Luka still asleep?"

"Yeah," he replied. I sat down beside him. He closed his eyes and leant his head against the back of the couch.

"I love being able to see my feet again," I said happily, wiggling my toes. Dimitri opened one eye and grinned at me. When he closed his eyes again, I couldn't help but study him.

He looked so vulnerable when sleeping. Vulnerable, and young, and gorgeous…and _yummy._

_Six weeks, Rose, six weeks…_I scolded myself and refrained from touching him.

Then the most dreadful thing happened.

The doorbell rang.

Dimitri's eyes shot open at the same time I jumped up. We both just froze and stared at the baby monitor, silently willing that the noise hadn't woken Luka.

The longest twenty seconds passed, and I began to relax.

And that's when he started crying. Loudly.

"Shit," Dimitri said and I looked at him in surprise. He was one that rarely cursed – a sign that the exhaustion was starting to take its toll on him. "You get the door, I'll get Luka."

We split ways – him going towards our room where Luka was currently sleeping in his bassinet, and me going to answer the door.

I wasn't surprised when I saw Lissa on the other side.

"Hey," she greeted me. "Bad time?" I figured not hitting her for waking the baby was the most polite thing to do.

"No, course not," I smiled and stood to the side to let her in. She walked in carrying a big white folder.

I sat down beside her on the couch. Before either of us said anything, the sound of Luka's cries became louder until eventually Dimitri entered the room.

"Aw, poor baby," Lissa cooed. I held my hands out for Dimitri to hand him to me. Luka seemed to quieten a little when he was in my arms…probably because he knew he was going to get fed. Dimitri liked to joke about how he had my appetite.

"You guys look tired," Lissa commented.

"Why wouldn't we be?" I sighed, snuggling Luka close to my body. "We've only gotten three hours sleep in the last forty eight hours." Lissa sent us a sympathetic look.

"Why are you here?" I asked her, not rudely, just wondering why she was calling.

"I just wanted your opinion on some last minute wedding stuff," she replied. "But I can come back another day if you're busy."

"No, of course not," I immediately said. Dimitri went into the bedroom to catch up on some sleep while Lissa and I discussed various table centrepieces and types of flowers. At this stage, she and Christian had pretty much everything else sorted.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Lissa exclaimed excitedly. "When will you be decorating the nursery? Because I have some really great ideas and-"

"Lissa, we won't be decorating it for a while," I told her before she went off on one of her rants. "Luka will be staying with us in our room for a while anyway."

I almost laughed at the look of disappointment on her face. She did, however, make me promise to let her help set it up.

We chatted for a while before I realised that Luka had fallen asleep again. The poor thing was just as tired as we were. I excused myself and got up gently, careful not to jostle him too much. I lay him down in the gorgeous bassinet that Olena had given us a few weeks ago. Dimitri was also asleep on the top of the bed, his body stretched along the width. It was like he was too tired to even get in properly. I smiled to myself and pulled back the covers. I pulled off his shoes and managed to coax him underneath. He huddled into the warmth and I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He mumbled something incoherent, making me grin.

I left the room then, desperately wanting to know what kind of dress Lissa had picked out for me.

***So I got the 6 VA books for Christmas (best present ever!). When I was reading back on the first one, Dimitri says that he grew up in Siberia, with **

"**his mother and ****2 ****sisters."**

**What are your views on this? Does he mean when he was young? Because he would have been, what, 16 (?) when Viktoria was born? I'm just curious :P**


	5. Chapter 5

***MY COMPUTER CAUGHT A VIRUS! I'm so mad :/ It's one that has completely locked me out of my account. Thankfully, the other accounts on my laptop are fine – so I can still write ****BUT ****all of the things that I have written are unattainable.**

**After trying to log in about 15 times, I realised that each time I had about 10 seconds actually on my account before it locked me out again…so…**

**I set myself a mission:**

**Log onto my account and move my "stories" folder in my documents onto my memory stick within 10 seconds.**

**And guess what?**

**It worked ;)**

**It took about 7 tries but I managed – so that is the only reason that you are getting this chapter right now :P Although, if any of you are following my drabble oneshots, I have lost all of the ones I have written - so it may be a little while before I manage to update again. **

***Also, I want to apologise for the A/N at my last update – that's what tiredness does to you! It affected my horrible maths skills :P Yes, you are all very right – Dimitri would have been about 8 when Viktoria was born, not 16 :)**

**Thank you all for the amazing reviews! There were so many and they make me so happy! :P Please keep it up or something might happen to Ivan… *I'm so evil ;)***

**So there's a much needed Dimitri/Luka moment in this one – hope you enjoy! **

**Chapter 5**

"Ah," Ivan said and dropped a cardboard box down the coffee table in the living room. "There ya go."

I just looked at him.

"What the hell is that?" I asked him when he didn't answer.

"Don't 'what the hell' me!" Ivan exclaimed. "You'll thank me in the end."

I wacked him over the head. "Ssh…if you wake Luka, I swear to god, you won't be alive long enough to go to Christian and Lissa's wedding."

"But's that tomorrow…" Ivan said.

"Exactly," I threatened. Ivan rolled his eyes at my threat. He was staying here tonight, along with Christian. Eddie and Mason would be popping in and out throughout the evening; they were Christian's groomsmen and still had some last minute things to take care of for tomorrow.

Rose was staying at Lissa's along with her other girlfriends. She was very reluctant to leave Luka for the first time and was taking the longest time packing her overnight bag.

"Roza," I whispered to her. She was standing over the small white bassinet that was settled by our bed, staring down at the still-small bundle. I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She didn't take much notice, and just kept staring down at him.

"He'll be fine, Roza," I whispered in her ear reassuringly. She didn't answer and it took me a moment to notice the tear that slipped down her cheek.

"Hey," I said quietly and turned her so that she was facing me. She immediately began to try and get away so that I wouldn't see the next few tears fall down.

"Rose, I will be with him the entire time," I promised, wiping the few tears on her cheeks away.

"I know…" she said, equally as quiet. "It's just…he's still so small…" I pulled her in for a hug. I should have been focused completely on comforting her – the majority of my body and mind were…but there was a small part of me that missed this – just hugging her. We had had a hectic few weeks and hadn't had five minutes alone without some interruption.

"Just try to relax and have some fun," I told her, savouring every peaceful moment we had together. Suddenly, however, she pulled away from me.

"How can I have fun?" she demanded. "Why do I have to leave him?"

"This will be good for you," I told her, trying to keep her calm and keep her from waking him. "It's a chance to just get some peace and quiet…and some rest," I added, knowing full well that neither of us had slept a full night in at least five weeks. She started playing with the hemline of my shirt.

"What about you?" she asked, lowering her voice again. "You're exhausted too."

"I am," I admitted. "But at least one of us will be able to function properly tomorrow." I smiled at her. She smiled back and her mood seemed to lighten considerably.

"I can't wait to see you in a tux," she changed the subject, sounding much more like her usual self. I smiled and gave her a quick kiss.

"Go on," I picked her bag up off the bed and gave her ass a quick slap.

"Hey!" She swung around and gave me a mock glare. I just winked at her and carried her overnight bag to the front door. She said goodbye to Luka and then joined me.

"Bye guys!" She called to the men who were drinking beer in the living room. She received no coherent response in return. She chuckled and then wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I shall see you tomorrow, comrade," she smiled and placed a kiss on my lips, one that I returned fervently. She broke apart before I did and I immediately felt the loss of her warmth.

"Please look after him," she whispered to me.

"Roza, of course I will," I promised her. "Do you not trust me?"

"Yes, of course I do, but please don't drink tonight," she said, eyeing the couch where Ivan and Christian were both on their second beer.

"I won't," I told her, having already made that decision. "Now, go on, the girls are waiting for you."

"Okay," she said, picking up her bag. "Remember, I left loads of milk in the fridge so that should do for this evening, tonight and tomorrow, there are diapers in the press by the-"

"Rose, _I know," _I reminded her. "I _have _lived here for the past five weeks too, you know."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," she said quickly. "Okay, call my cell if you guys need help." I agreed and gave her another quick kiss before she left for the night.

I made sure the baby monitor was switched on before returning to the guys in the living room.

"Hey!" Ivan said, a little too loudly. I could hear the faint slur in his voice. "Look who's free from his ball and chain!" Both he and Christian started laughing.

"Ivan…mind keeping it down?" I asked him, nodding towards the bedroom.

"Dude, you are _so _whipped," Ivan smirked.

"No, I am _so _tired, and I would appreciate if you didn't wake up my baby so that I could get more than three hours sleep tonight." Ivan gave me what I guessed was a sympathetic look.

There was a sudden knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" Ivan announced and tried to stand up.

"No, you won't," I pushed him back down.

I opened the door and smiled when I saw it was only Eddie and Mason. I stood aside to let them in.

"Hello men," Mason called out, walking into the room with yet another pack of beers.

"Ssh…" Ivan mock whispered. "We can't talk, otherwise we'll wake the baby!"

I hit him over the head with a pillow.

"Sorry man," Mason apologised and sat down beside Ivan. They immediately started talking about the game that was about to start. Eddie sat beside Christian.

"I think that's enough for you," Eddie said, laughing and taking the pretty much finished beer out of Christian's hands. "Do you _want _to be hung over on your wedding day?" Christian grumbled but thankfully didn't argue.

Ivan, on the other hand…

"Hey man, if Christian wants to get drunk, let him get drunk…I mean, it's his last night of freedom, right?" He stood up, stumbling a little but managing to stay upright, and put his hand over his heart, as though it would emphasise what he was saying.

"I'm serious, man," Ivan pointed at Christian. "After tomorrow, everything will change. I mean, look at my bud here," he pointed at me and I mentally groaned, knowing full well where he was going with this. "Dimitri used to be fun, he used to want to go out on the town with me and be my wingman but now…" Ivan shook his head in what could _only _be described as despair. I nearly laughed at his sullen expression. "Now he's always tired, now he always wants to be with his _Roza…_"

"I think it might be time to cut you off as well," Mason said suddenly, laughing and pushing Ivan back down on the couch. "Before you say something you'll _really _regret."

"What's in the box?" Eddie asked, pointing to the box that Ivan had dropped on the table.

"No idea, and I'm not sure I want to," I told him honestly. He laughed and nudged it towards me with his foot.

"Go on, get it over with," he said. I chuckled and lifted open the lid.

"Ivan, you pig," I said to him when I saw its contents.

"What? What is it?" Eddie asked, leaning forward to take a look for himself. He burst out laughing when he saw what it was.

"Where the hell do you get this stuff?" I asked him, pushing the box back towards him.

"Come on, man," Ivan replied, edging the box back over to me. "Don't tell me that you won't need them."

"I won't need them, _believe me,_" I told him and shoved it back at him. It slipped off the table and the contents spilled all over the ground. The others guys started laughing.

The floor was now covered with porn magazines and various different sex toys…some of which, frankly, looked terrifying.

"Consider them a present," Ivan said, stooping down to pile the stuff back in the box. "It would be rude to decline them."

He wouldn't let me argue back and proceeded to shove the box into the coat closet.

"Let's say no more about it," he said returning to the couch. "You'll thank me one day, mark my words."

I let it go and we watched the game. We spent the rest of the evening helping Ivan and Christian sober up.

At around midnight, the guys crashed in various places in the living room, including the couch and the floor, and I returned to my own bed. Luka had woken briefly about an hour ago but had gone straight back to sleep after being fed. I climbed into Rose's side of the bed to be closer to the bassinet and inhaled her sweet scent on her pillow. It had been a long time since we had spent a night apart and I couldn't help the loneliness I felt at the sight of the empty side of the bed.

I lay awake for a few hours, just thinking about how lucky I was to have met Rose. I mean, I could've easily not gone out with Ivan that night, and who knows, maybe we never would have met? It was so hard to believe that I hadn't even known her a year. We had been through so much together and I felt like I had known her my entire life.

I sat up in bed as Luka started to whimper. I held him close to my chest and cradled him as he sucked on his tiny fist. I was still only processing how we had made something so perfect and so amazing. His brown eyes that were so like mine shone with tears and I held him tighter.

"Ssh baby," I whispered to him, kissing his tiny nose. "Do you miss Mama too?" He had stopped whimpering and gazed up at me with his big eyes. It was amazing how much brighter my world became every time his little fist enclosed itself around my index finger. Any problems, any stress, any exhaustion I was suffering from seemed to just vanish. It wasn't just me who held him; he held a very large part of my heart too.

I murmured to him soothingly in Russian until he finally drifted back off to sleep. Instead of putting him back in his basket, I lay him down in the middle of the bed beside me and tucked him up tight in the blankets.

It wasn't long until I drifted off too, and for the first time, Luka slept through the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**A few things before you read:**

***This chapter is more than 4000 words xD I think thats the longest I've ever written :P**

***Link to bridesmaids outfits = ** www**dot**polyvore**dot**com/lissa_christians_wedding/set?id=70489830

^^Just replace the 'dot's with full stops :)

***Ivan and Dimitri originally weren't going to be a groomsman, but I was short of men so…they made the cut ;)***

***Again, Thank you so much for nominating Hook, Line, Sinker, Learning Curves and It's A Tough World Out There for Best Fanfic 2012. I just wanted to let you all know that voting ends tomorrow. So if you havent already voted, head on over to the page and vote - the link to the page is on my profile :)**

**Without further ado, **

**Chapter 6**

Lissa had woken everybody up at exactly 8am to start our makeup and hair, despite the fact that the wedding wasn't starting until 3pm. But Lissa being Lissa, she had wanted to get each of us ready herself.

So she started with Mia.

Sydney, Mia and I were all bridesmaids, while Eddie, Mason, Ivan and Dimitri were the groomsmen. Luka was staying with them last night while they were having one of their "guys night," which I hated. But both Lissa and Dimitri could be very persuasive and had eventually talked me into it.

"Sydney, you're turn!" Lissa announced, holding up the curling tongs and letting Mia go. As Lissa started on Sydney, Mia settled herself beside me.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, looking worried.

"Fine," I answered, plastering a smile on my face. In truth, my emotions were all over the place. I couldn't make head or tails of what exactly I was feeling.

Mia gave me a sceptical look but said no more…and then it was my turn.

"So I was thinking…" Lissa launched herself straight into her ideas of how I was going to look when she was finished. I didn't bother listening; I knew it would be great no matter what she did.

I drifted in and out of my own thoughts as she set to work; pulling, curling and pinning every last strand of my hair.

Once she was finished my hair, she went straight onto my makeup. This time, she didn't tell me what she was going to do.

Twenty minutes later, Lissa held up a mirror for me to inspect.

I was a little taken aback by my reflection.

My skin looked clean and refreshed, as though I had just come out from a $500 facial. It was flawless. The tired bags under my eyes from the countless sleepless nights had also disappeared. My hair – which I had washed last night – was sleek and shiny looking, and pinned to the side. The dark curls framed my face in an attractive way and cascaded down over my shoulder and chest.

"Liss, you're a genius," I told her, leaning closer to the mirror, admiring her work.

"I know," she grinned widely and gave the finishing touches to all three of us.

When we were done, it was our turn to transform Lissa.

Sydney brushed, Mia curled and I pinned until Lissa's hair resembled a gorgeous up do she had saw in a bridal magazine a couple of weeks back. The curls wrapped around each other and were pinned to the back of her head in a way that made the whole hairstyle look ten times more complicated than it actually was.

I almost cried when we were finally done.

"You look like a princess," Mia said, giving Lissa a big but careful hug so as not to ruin their work.

Lissa grinned and wiped a tear that hadn't yet fallen from her eye.

"Thanks," she replied. She took a moment to gather herself. "Okay! Time for dresses!"

I felt my stomach drop. This was the moment I had been dreading.

Lissa handed us all our dresses and I went into her bedroom for privacy.

I lay the gorgeous blue material gently on the bed and took a deep breath. Taking my time, I stripped off my pyjamas. I eased the zipper at the side of my dress down and ever so gently stepped into it.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I pulled the dress slowly up my body, at any second expecting it to get stuck but no.

The dress didn't stop moving and eventually, it came to a standstill…exactly where it was supposed to. I breathed a sigh of relief – thankful for having gotten it this far.

Knowing it wasn't over yet, I proceeded to zip it up. Again, I expected to feel the zipper jam but it never did.

I felt like bursting into tears when the realisation hit me.

My dress fit.

And not fit as in sucking in until I managed to squeeze my body into it…I mean, it slip on my body like a glove on a hand.

Granted, I had worked and exercised my ass off these last few weeks, but there was still a part of me that felt like a cow. The top of my dress was slightly tighter than it had been when I had originally tried it on, but that was expected, given my increased breast size.

There was a knock at the door. I called for the person to come in, not taking my eyes off of the mirror.

Lissa let out a small gasp. "Rose you look gorgeous," she walked over to me and fixed the shiny blue material. I gave her a soft smile. Lissa then stood in front of me.

"Seriously Rose," she stated. "You look amazing."

I grinned but then froze. It had only just occurred to me that Lissa was ready and dressed too.

"Oh my gosh, Liss, you look…" I couldn't even finish my sentence. We didn't need words though. She hugged me tightly, neither of us caring about our hair or make-up.

"You guys look so great!" Mia's voice suddenly exclaimed from the doorway. She and Sydney were standing there in their matching purple dresses. Lissa had decided that because I was her maid of honour, I was to be dressed in blue, while the others would be in purple.

"So do you guys!" Lissa gave a tearful laugh and then pulled them in for a group hug.

"We'd better get going," Sydney said, checking the time. "We're already running a bit behind schedule."

We gathered our stuff and then we were on our way. Mia carried our bags while Syd and I held the bottom of Lissa's dress so that it didn't get dirty.

As soon as were walked out the door, we were hit with a brilliant ray of light. It was June, and it was hot. I watched as Sydney and Mia helped Lissa into the old fashioned car she had hired to chauffer her to the church. The bright sunlight shone off her hair and skin, and I couldn't help but notice that she really did look like a princess.

"Rose!" Lissa grinned and beckoned me over. I hurried over in my heels and climbed in beside her.  
Lissa and I travelled in one car, while Sydney and Mia followed us in the second car. Traditionally, I would have rode with the other bridesmaids, but I didn't want Lissa to have to be alone.

"I wish my dad was still alive," she said quietly, her thoughts obviously on the same wavelength as mine.

"Me too, Liss, me too…" I told her and gave her perfectly manicured hand a squeeze. "But let's not dwell on that today…It's you wedding day! This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life!"

She smiled at me, looking grateful.

We didn't say anything else on the way to the church but it was a comfortable silence.  
As soon as we arrived, I began searching for Dimitri. Not seeing him, I gave up and climbed out of the car.

"You ready?" I asked her after we had fixed her dress so that it lay in perfection around her. She nodded and grinned at Mason who approached us.

"You all look so beautiful," he said and took Lissa's hand. Mason was standing in for Eric Dragomir, and was walking Lissa up the aisle.

We didn't have much time to chat, as the music began to play.

Sydney went first, then Mia. Then it was my turn. I was halfway up the aisle, when I finally spotted Dimitri. He was standing beside Ivan, Eddie and Christian, who were all looking great.

But not as great as Dimitri, of course.

I gave him my award winning smile – a smile I hadn't used in a long time – and stood on my own side of the altar. Everyone stood and our attention was directed to the doorway as the wedding march began to play.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as Lissa's eyes met Christian's, and never left them as she walked slowly up the aisle. Mason placed her hand in Christian's and together, turned to face the priest.

The entire ceremony in general, was beautiful. Granted, I didn't _really _listen to the sermon, but for once, I had good reason.

Luka had begun whimpering so my attention was drawn to him. Olena was minding him in a carrier down in one of the pews. Fortunately, she had managed to get him to get back to sleep so I didn't need to bring him outside for a few minutes.

It didn't last extremely long, and soon enough, we were walking back down the aisle. This time, Dimitri got to walk with me. We said nothing as we walked to the end, but he did take my hand and give it a small squeeze.

We all piled outside while Lissa and Christian greeted and thanked everyone leaving the church.

I waited for Olena and the rest of Dimitri's family to exit the church so that I could finally fulfil my need to hold Luka close to me.

The exited and approached us once they had congratulated the happy couple.

Luka was lying in his carrier that Dimitri had leant them this morning and he was fast asleep. Knowing I couldn't wake him, I reluctantly put off picking him up so that he wouldn't be cranky later.

"Hey," Dimitri's heavenly voice whispered in my ear. His strong arms wound themselves around my waist from behind.

"Hmm," I sighed and leaned back into his chest.

"You look beautiful," he whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes and felt the corners of my mouth lift up in a smile.

"God, I missed you," I told him. I felt him grin into my neck as he kissed it.

"I missed you too."

Technically, I was supposed to be riding with the other bridesmaids to the reception - which was taking place in a hotel outside the town – but I went with Dimitri in his car instead.

"Luka's quiet today," I commented on the drive over.

"Yeah, he is," Dimitri agreed. "He slept over five hours last night."

"Seriously?"

Dimitri nodded and gave me a happy grin before returning his eyes to the road. I glanced back at the baby carrier strapped in one of the backseats. Luka was dozing, drifting in and out of his sleepy state, his brown eyes opening and closing every few seconds.

"You missed him?" Dimitri asked me.

"Yeah," I answered back, reaching back and stroking my baby's tiny cheek. It was as incredibly soft as it always was. "I'm not even sure how I managed to stay away from you both." Dimitri chuckled. "But anyway, I'm back with my men now."

Dimitri pulled up at the hotel. The rest of the wedding party, as well as several guests, had already arrived and were being handed champagne flutes outside the door.

Dimitri unstrapped Luka while I grabbed the baby bag with all of our essential items such as nappies and bottles. I was still breastfeeding him, but we had introduced bottle feeding as well for situations like last night, when I had been gone for over 12 hours.

"Hey!" Lissa grinned and gave me a hug when we approached. "How's my boy?" She placed a kiss on Luka's forehead. "You guys go on inside," she told us. "We'll be in in a minute."

"Kay, Liss," I hoisted the bag further onto my shoulder and walked into the warm lobby. We were led to the reception area, and then to our seats. I had asked Lissa and Christian if it would be okay if I sat with Dimitri during the meal, instead of being at the wedding party table. Lissa understood that I needed to be close to him and to Luka.

Christian and Lissa were announced as Mr and Mrs Ozera for the first time and took their seats as they were applauded. The meal was really good, and according to Dimitri's sisters, who were at the same table as us, the wine served was amazing. Unfortunately, I couldn't have any because of the fact that I was still feeding but I didn't mind too much. Dimitri wouldn't have a glass either; he said it was because he would be driving home later but I knew he didn't want me to feel left out.

After the meal, the band started up and Lissa and Christian had their first dance as a married couple.

"You wanna dance?" Dimitri asked me.

"Hmm…maybe," I replied.

"Are you okay?" Dimitri leaned towards me and asked quietly. It took me a minute to realise that there were tears on my face.

"Yeah, fine," I told him, wiping at the warm droplets on my cheeks.

"Rose, what's wrong?" he asked me, looking concerned. He knew these weren't happy tears.

"I don't know," I told him honestly. "It's probably still my hormones all mixed up. It's nothing, don't worry about it." I gave him a watery smile and removed my eyes from his gaze.

I had been telling the truth…I really didn't know why I was feeling some form of anguish inside me. So much so that a knot was beginning to form in my stomach.

Lissa and Christian's dance ended and I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I could feel Dimitri's eyes on my back as I walked away but I didn't look back at him. I locked the bathroom door behind me and rushed over to the sink. I cleaned the small smudges of blackness from under my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths.

I went through a mental list of why I was feeling this way:

Pregnant? Not possible. Dimitri and I hadn't had sex since before Luka was born.

Jealous of Christian and Lissa? No way. What Dimitri and I had was more amazing and special than what I ever imagined love could be. And we had a beautiful baby boy together.

Maybe I was just emotional because it was a wedding…people cry at weddings, right? I took another deep breath, knowing that wasn't it.

Being emotional would be an okay explanation…if it weren't for the other times I cried this month. Sometimes, little things like being woken by Luka in the middle of the night for the third time would trigger it, and I would just start crying. Maybe exhaustion played a part in it, but I couldn't be sure.

I spent a few more moments gathering myself, and then braced myself to face the celebrating room once again.

I pushed the door of the ladies room open, exiting with my head held high…

Then I stopped.

My eyes zoned on Dimitri, who was chatting at the bar with Ivan…and two other girls. He was laughing and joking along with whatever Ivan had said. Both girls giggled and twirled their hair, flirting mercilessly.

I didn't have to hear the conversation to know that they were flirting, their actions were more than enough…but what really bothered me, was that Dimitri was going along with it.

Or he was at least not stopping it.

Half of me felt nauseous and wanted to turn and run back into the bathroom and lock myself there…the other half wanted to smack Dimitri and bitch him out of it.

In the end, I decided I wanted to keep my dignity and so, I strode over to where the Belikov's, who were entertaining and socialising with the people who had gone over to them to take a look at Luka.

"He's so cute!" Some girl – I think she was from Lissa's graduating nursing class – exclaimed. "Is he yours?" she asked Viktoria, who was loving the extra attention her table was getting. I took my seat beside her.

"Nope," she replied but gave a happy nod in my direction. "I wish!"

"How old is he?" the girl asked me.

"He's five weeks," I told her, looking at my baby. He was so beautiful. He started to whimper quietly and then he got louder. I reached for him and unstrapped him from his carrier.

I grabbed a blanket from the bag and covered myself while Luka had his dinner, trying to ignore the creepy men two tables over gawking at me.

"Is it really weird?" Viktoria asked me, rubbing Luka's small foot with her thumb in a soothing motion.

"Breast feeding?" I confirmed. She nodded. "A little at first, but not so much anymore."

"Is Dimka good at getting up when he cries at night? I mean, I know a lot of men suck at it, but Dimka was always there to help Karolina when she needed it."

"Yeah, he's great," I answered, my voice sounding monotonous and tired.

"Where is he anyway?" she asked looking around.

"Vik, I don't know!" I replied, a little edge in my voice that I didn't mean to put in there. I half hoped she didn't hear it, but judging by the fact that she shut up, I knew she had.

"I'm sorry," I said to her. "I'm just really exhausted."

"It's okay," she said, back to her usual bubbly self. "I get really grumpy when I'm tired too…Mama says I'm like a grouch monster."

Despite my dark feelings, I managed to crack a smile. "I can imagine."

"Anyway, you know if you guys are seriously about to fall asleep standing up, we can mind him for a night. Mama wouldn't mind…in fact, she'd love it! And you guys can catch up on some sleep." She smiled warmly at me. I didn't get to answer her, because Luka had just finished.

I made sure I was presentable once again before removing the blanket and wrapping it up around him.

"I'm just gonna take him for a small walk," I told Viktoria. "He's been in that thing all day. Back in a few."

I cradled him in my arms and walked slowly out to the lobby. I sank into one of the comfy two-seaters and revelled in the peacefulness. It was nice to be able to hear my own thoughts.

So what if Dimitri was flirting with some random girl? Flirting was harmless, right?

I immediately cringed, remembering that most of my flirting encounters in the past had led to sex almost every time.

Dimitri was different though…Ivan had said so. Dimitri's flirting was merely that – flirting. Nothing more.

It didn't stop my worry though.

What if he _did _want to sleep with her?

I mean, we had been told that we couldn't have sex for approximately six weeks after I had given birth. The six week mark was next week, and he hadn't mentioned one word. I mean, he was still a guy after all, and nearly two months of not having any sexual contact had to take its toll, right?

Unless…

Unless he was already having sex with someone else?

_Don't be stupid, Rose, _I immediately scolded myself…but my old insecurities were setting back in.

That would explain why not having sex didn't seem to be bothering him _at all._ And it wasn't like Dimitri to flirt with a girl at a bar…

Again, I cringed at the memory of when _we_ had flirted at a bar…and where that had led to.

_Shit, Rose, stop it. _

I couldn't though. My thoughts went on and on, making me feel as though I was spiralling out of control. I couldn't lose Dimitri. Not now.

Fortunately, Luka was my saviour, and chose to cry at that very moment, effectively distracting me from my horrible thoughts.

I had just got him to calm down when Lissa and Christian exited the reception room, the guest following them cheering.

"There you are!" Lissa exclaimed and pulled me into a hug, being careful not to squash Luka. "We're heading off now, I'll see you soon ok?" She gave me another quick hug. "Are you okay?" she whispered into my ear, so quietly that nobody would have heard.

I gave her a small tight smile and a nod.

"Of course I am," I told her. "Now go have fun! I'll see you in ten days."

She gave my hand a squeeze and Luka a kiss. "Bye baby, don't grow up too much while I'm gone." She looked up at me. "I gave you a key, right?"

"Yeah, don't worry Liss," I told her and gave her a small push in the direction of the limo. She and Christian were going to be spending ten days in Hawaii for their honeymoon, and Lissa had given me a key so that I could water her plants and keep an eye on the apartment while they were gone.

They were sent off with lots of cheers and eventually, everyone returned inside.

"I've been looking for you," Dimitri's voice said from behind me.

"Have you?" I said, sarcasm lacing my voice. I felt Dimitri look at me questioningly but I just kept looking down at Luka, trying to get him to go back to sleep.

"Yeah…" Dimitri answered and tried to give me a kiss. Instinctively, I pulled away from him.

"What's the matter?" he asked me, looking a little shocked. I had never denied him anything, even a tiny kiss.

"Nothing, Dimitri," I answered, starting to walk back inside.

"Rose." He caught up to me quickly, which wasn't surprising considering he was taller and I was carrying a baby. "Tell me."

"It's nothing, comrade," I told him. "Really. I'm just exhausted."

Dimitri didn't look convinced but maybe that use of my nickname for him made him drop the subject. "Do you want to go home?"

"Actually, Lissa asked me to stop by hers and Christians place to make sure everything was alright and I think I'll just stay there tonight. You stay and have fun." Again, Dimitri didn't look too sure but I gave his hand a quick squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

I didn't let him answer and walked back inside to get mine and Luka's stuff. Dimitri didn't say anything after that but I felt him walking back inside behind me. He helped me gather the stuff and then load it into our car. He handed me the keys and I sat inside.

We didn't say anything as I backed out of the parking spot, but he just stood there, in the darkness, watching me leave. I could feel his worried eyes staring at me but I made no move to acknowledge him.

I just left.

I arrived at Lissa's and Christian's apartment and quickly brought Luka and our stuff inside. Being June, it wasn't particularly cold out, but I still wanted to make sure he didn't catch a draft.

I got inside and dumped the bags at the door. I brought Luka straight to the spare room and snuggled him up in the middle of the bed. I stripped and let my dress fall in a pool to the floor. Not bothering to pick it and hang it up, I climbed into the bed in my underwear and cuddled my baby closer to me.

For once, it was me crying myself to sleep, and Luka was the one who comforted me.

The next morning, I felt awful.

Horrible, actually.

Why had I let my fears and insecurities get the better of me? Dimitri loved me, I knew that. He told me all the time.

I kicked myself and gently climbed out of the bed, not stirring Luka. He hadn't slept all through the night, but he had slept about four hours in a row so that was something.

I dug through some of Lissa's things, not wanted to put my dress back on, and found some things that would actually fit me.

"Hi baby," I said and lay him on the bed. I changed his nappy and fed him, all within half an hour. I wanted to get back to Dimitri. The few hours away had done me good, but I was ready to come back home. "Come on, let's go back to dada."

I changed Luka into a cute blue onesie and strapped him back into his carrier. The poor thing was spending a lot of time in there over the last 24 hours. I grabbed our stuff and went out to the car.

It was another beautiful day and I let the sun shine on me, making me feel better with only it's rays.

I arrived back at our own apartment block and realised that it was still quite early.

Oh well.

I carried Luka up the several flights of stairs and got as far as our apartment door.

It was then that I realised that in the rush of last night, I'd forgotten that I didn't have a key. So much for not wanted to wake Dimitri up.

I knocked and waited for a few moments. I didn't have to wait long.

I heard movements on the other side of the door, and sure enough, it opened.

Dimitri was there, looking like he had just been woken up; which he had, I guessed.

"Roza?" He sounded shocked to see me, as though he thought that he would have to be the one who came to find me; which was usually the case.

I gave him a small smile. "Hey comr-"

I froze. Dimitri's eyebrows furrowed at the change of atmosphere.

He didn't seem to realise that my heart was breaking in two.

The girl from the bar had just walked into my sight.

Wearing nothing but a sheet from the bed.

I did what I did best.

I ran.


	7. Chapter 7

***I want to thank you all again for the huge amount of support and love I've received over the past couple of weeks. I'm doing my best to update my stories and thank you all for being so patient with me.**

***Again, Hook, Line, Sinker was brought into the second round of voting for Best VA Fanfic 2012, so go cast your votes to Nance-Chan (link is on my profile).**

**A few different POV's in this one…and please don't hate me by the end of it.**

Mia POV

"Alright, I'm coming! I'm coming," I yelled at the person who was knocking insistently on my door. I groaned and pulled myself up off of the couch. It was early – too early for a visitor in my opinion, but I went to see who it was anyway.

"Do you have any idea what tim-" I shut up as soon as I saw who was on the other side of the door. "Oh my god, what happened?"

Rose stood there, eyes red and puffy, and her baby cradled in her arms.

She looked like hell.

Rose just shook her head and made her way into my apartment. Sensing she didn't want to talk right away, I hurriedly made her a cup of coffee and returned to the living room, where Rose had placed baby Luka in his carrier on the coffee table and curled her legs up to her chest on the couch.

"Rose?" Rose didn't look up at me or at the coffee I was handing to her, so I put it down and sat down beside her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Again, there was no verbal answer…but I didn't miss the tears that welled up in her eyes.

"Rose, what happened," I demanded off her, not caring if I was being too harsh – I needed to know if I had to kick somebody's ass.

"He- I don't know!" She said, the tears spilling over. "We didn't really have a fight last night, but something definitely wasn't right. And then I left and stayed at Lissa's, but I felt bad in the morning so I went back home, and he answered the door but there was a girl there – a naked girl and-"

"Okay!" I cut her off before she had a heart attack. "Okay, Rose, take a deep breath." She listened to me and wiped furiously at her eyes. At this stage, I figured that something had gone done between her and Dimitri.

Once she had calmed down, I made her explain, calmly, what exactly had happened.

"Are you sure?" I asked her, nearly having to make her repeat what she had said just to be sure she had said it. "Dimitri?"

She gave a small nod, and I could tell she was trying to hold back the tears again. "That's what it looked like."

"He doesn't really seem like the cheating type."

"Well, what would you know?" she exclaimed. "What would _I _even know? I mean, I barely even knew him before I found out I was pregnant – what do any of us really know about him? He could have been cheating this whole time and I was too dense and too naïve to notice!"

I just stared at her blankly.

"Rose," I started carefully. "Have you been feeling okay?"

"What kind of a question is that?" she replied angrily. "Of course I'm not okay!"

"No, that's not what I meant," I told her, recalling my last conversation with Lissa. "The girls and I were talking, and we all have noticed how you haven't exactly been like yourself since you had the baby."

Rose just stared at me.

"I've just been tired, that's all." She replied after a moment.

"No, Rose," I said, using my 'cut the crap' voice. "You know that's not it. Something's been wrong and you haven't told anybody."

Luka started whinging and Rose immediately leaned forward to comfort him. I watched my friend as she cuddled and cradled the baby back to sleep.

"How could he do this to us?" she whispered gently. I was sure I could see and hear her heart physically breaking in front of me.

I realised then and there that I wasn't going to get any more information out of her, and so I placed the baby back in the carrier and let Rose curl up on my couch. She was asleep within sixty seconds.

Ivan POV

I was woken up by the feel of fingernails trailing up and down my chest. I grinned and kept my eyes closed as the girl's soft lips nipped at my neck.

"Morning," her sultry voice whispered into my ear. I replied with a hot kiss on the lips. She sighed and then giggled before pushing herself closer.

I opened my eyes and noticed that she was wearing a towel. "Did you have a shower?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Hope that's okay."

"Without me?" She giggled again at my pouting face and gave me another kiss.

She proceeded to get up and start grabbing her clothes from around the room. I got a shock, realising that I wasn't even in my own apartment, let alone my bedroom.

I calmed down when I vaguely remembered Dimitri making us stay at his last night because he didn't want me driving while intoxicated.

"Oh," the girl – who's name I couldn't remember for the life of me - said. "I think you're roommates upset – it was about his girlfriend, I think."

"Why, what happened?" I asked her, feeling afraid and wondering if Rose was alright.

"Dunno," she replied, grabbing her bag and flicking her hair back in an attempt to draw my attention back to her. "Okay, I gotta go. Last night was fun! Call me!" I agreed quickly, even though I didn't have her number and quickly got dressed after she left.

Exiting the bedroom, I saw Dimitri sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. It took me a moment to realise that he was on the phone.

"-Roza, please pick up, let me explain-" he stopped talking as the voice mail cut him off. He angrily threw the phone on to the other side of the couch.

"Dude, what happened?"

Dimitri looked up angrily at me and shock coursed through me. Dimitri never got angry at me – annoyed, pissed off and frustrated, sure – but never angry.

"Why did you have to bring her here last night?" he demanded, standing up and pacing.

"Wh- what do you mean? _You _were the one who made us come here last night!"

"That's not-" he let out a groan.

"Rose left."

"Left? Left where?" I asked dumbly.

"If I knew _where_ then I wouldn't be _here _now, would I?"

"Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a bunch," I retorted. "What has the girl I brought home got to do with what happened?"

"Rose- I don't know how to explain it – but something was wrong with her last night. She went to stay at Lissa's and came back here this morning – and that was when your little 'fuck buddy' waltzed out of the bedroom. I think she got the complete wrong idea."

"Why didn't you go after her?" I asked.

"Of course I went after her, idiot! She got away before I could catch up to her. I've already been to Lissa's and she's not there anymore. I have no idea where she is, or where she's taken Luka."

"Just give her some space, man," I advised him. "Believe me, if she doesn't want to be found, you won't find her."

Dimitri didn't seem all too happy about this particular piece of advice, but there wasn't really anything he could do about it.

He sat on the couch, deep in thought, for most of the day. I watched helplessly – and even tried calling Rose myself – to no avail.

Rose POV

I woke up much later, in a different apartment. It took me a moment to realise that I was at Mia's and Sydney's. One look out the window told me it was still bright out, but night-time was on its way.

"Mia?"

"Oh, hey!" Mia walked out from the kitchen. "How are you feeling?"

"How am I supposed to be feeling?" she replied, sounding exhausted.

"Right, sorry," Mia replied, looking sheepish. "Stupid question."

Mia was a great friend, she really was. Out of our group, she was probably the one who was most like me…but I couldn't help but long for Lissa, my best friend, who knew how to comfort me in times like these, who knew exactly what to do and say.

I immediately felt bad for wishing it wasn't Mia here. Because she was the _only _one here.

"Hey, where's Sydney?" I asked her, noticing her roommate's absence.

"Dunno," Mia answered. "I haven't seen her since last night at the reception."

"Oh," I replied, feeling myself frowning. Sydney was the good girl of the group – no way she would stay out all night.

"Mayb- Hey, where's Luka?" I asked, noticing that he wasn't asleep in his carrier.

"Oh, I didn't want him to wake you up so I moved him into my bedroom so you could rest," Mia replied. "Want me to get him?"

"Please," I replied, needing his little body in my arms to comfort me. Mia left and I sat up. I ran my hand through my hair in an attempt to tidy it – but there was no hope for it.

Just as I was straightening out my clothes, the front door open and closed quietly. Sydney hadn't noticed me sitting on her couch and tried to tip toe quietly back to her room.

The thing that stood out to me – was that she was wearing the same dress as last night.

"Well," I said loudly, making her jump and spin around in my direction. "_That _is a walk of shame if I ever saw it."

"Sssh Rose!" She replied, looking panicked. "Please don't tell Mia! I'll never hear the end of it!"

"Hmm," I pretended to think about it. "I don't know, Syd, I might need a little bit more persua-" I was cut off by a scream.

"ROSE!"

Mia's shrill voice made my blood run cold, and I was by her side in her room within seconds. Sydney was at my heels.

The first thing I noticed was the tears and look of panic on her face.

"I don't- I don't know what's wrong," she managed to get out. She was grasping Luka in her arms.

"Rose, I don't think he's breathing."


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE AT END. PLEASE READ.**

**Chapter 8**

_Previously_

"_ROSE!"_

_Mia's shrill voice made my blood run cold, and I was by her side in her room within seconds. Sydney was at my heels._

_The first thing I noticed was the tears and look of panic on her face._

"_I don't- I don't know what's wrong," she managed to get out. She was grasping Luka in her arms. _

"_Rose, I don't think he's breathing."_

* * *

I stood there frozen, not able to react to what Mia had just said. Sydney on the other hand had rushed forward and was desperately running her hands over Luka's little chest and face.

Me? I couldn't take my eyes away from his closed lids.

Could this really be happening? Or had I just fallen into one horrific nightmare that had turned my life upside down?

I tried to remember the exact colour of the eyes hidden behind those beautiful lids, and I couldn't. I had thought that I knew – that I would remember such a significant detail, but I longed to have one last look. I wanted to see the dark chocolate brown, shining up at me; the lighter shade of brown speckled around the iris flickering back up at my own – both eyes sparkling with mischief and liveliness.

But would that happen again? Ever?

"He's breathing!" Sydney breathed, her hand held against his little mouth. Mia stood hyperventilating in the corner.

"He is?" she whispered, edging her way forwards slowly, towards the baby.

"Yes, feel this?" Sydney signalled me forward, and gently took a hold of my hand when I didn't move. She placed my hand against his mouth, where hers had been before, and I felt tiny puffs of warm air hitting my hand as he breathed in and out. They were irregular however, and that concerned me…

But he was alive.

Slowly, some of the fear seeped from my body and I leant closer to my baby boy. Leaning closer, I could hear a quiet gasping noise being emitted with each breath he took. He _was _breathing, just not very well.

"I called an ambulance," Sydney walked into the room. I hadn't even noticed her leaving. "They'll be here in five."

Ever so gently, I wrapped both arms around his body. He seemed so much more fragile now. I held him tightly to my chest, and tried to comfort him as best I could. Ignoring Mia's profuse apologies, I walked downstairs and waited for the paramedics to arrive.

When they did, we were told that only I could ride in the ambulance with him, and so Sydney and Mia hurried to her car, both shouting promises to be right behind us. But I couldn't focus on anything but the small bundle in front of me.

I felt numb. This feeling of dread and grief that was overwhelming me was so unfamiliar. I had heard about a mother's natural protectiveness towards her child – I'd never experienced it, but I'd heard of it.

But I'd never heard of a mother's feeling of helplessness and sheer panic when something was wrong with her baby, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

"Ma'am?" It came to my attention that one of the paramedics was trying to take Luka from my arms. Instinctively, my arms tightened, refusing to let him out of my grip.

"Ma'am, we're only trying to help you," the man moved my chin so that I was looking him in the eyes. They were kind, and they were the type of eyes that you could see into. I could see that he was good, and that he wanted to help. And that was all I needed to know.

My body felt cold as I handed my baby off to a stranger, but there was nothing I could do about it now. Luka was laid gently on his back as a small oxygen mask was pressed to his face. The ambulance sped through the town and I clenched my eyes shut as they assessed his vitals.

What felt like hours later, we arrived at the hospital on the other side of town.

The doors were flung open as paramedics and doctor's immediately started their work. Luka was handed to a doctor in the ER and I made to follow, but was stopped by a young doctor.

"I'm sorry, miss, but it's authorised persons only in the trauma room."

"I- What?" I demanded, my voice hoarse from not having spoken. "What do you mean I can't go in? He's my baby!"

"I'm sorry, miss, but you're going to have to wait outside. We'll update you as soon as we can." And with that, she walked away to deal with her own patients.

"Rose!"

I turned and saw Mia and Sydney hurrying toward me. "What happened? Where's Luka?"

"In the trauma room," I replied numbly. "They said I can't go in while they're working on him." My legs felt weak as my body struggled to keep up with my mind. Sydney grabbed my arm and led me to some seats not so far away.

I moved restlessly in the chair, anxious to know what exactly was going on in the little white room only a couple of feet away.

"Eh, Rose," Mia's voice forced its way into my head. I made a noise to acknowledge that I had heard her, but kept my eyes glued to the door in case someone walked out and I missed them. "I called Dimitri," she continued, her voice sounding cautious. "I hope that's okay."

"Course it is," I replied quietly. God I hated feeling like I was this weak, helpless woman who needed her boyfriend to make her feel better…but of course, at the moment,

That was exactly what I was.

Right on cue, Dimitri burst through the doors of the Emergency Room, Ivan at his heels. He gave the room a quick scan, and then, as if something inside of him had told him exactly where I was, his eyes found mine. Within seconds, he was by my side.

As soon as he was kneeling in front of me, the memories of what had happened earlier came flooding back…and I wanted to get away from him.

"What happened?" he demanded. I despised the accusing look in his eyes.

"Don't."

Dimitri's eyes went slightly wide at hearing the hard tone in my voice.

"Don- Don't what?" he asked, looking confused.

"Don't pretend like you care about us!" I retorted, my voice rising. "And _don't _give me that helpless, confused look either!"

"Pretend?" He replied, the confused look changing to shock. "You think I'm _pretending _to care about you…about Luka?"

"After what you did, you can hardly expect me to believe that we're the most important things in your life anymore!"

"What do you mean 'after what I did'?!" he replied angrily. "Do you really think-"

"Eh, guys," Ivan butted in. "Maybe we should all calm down. You're both upset and it's best to stop before one of says something that you'll regret."

"Oh, shut it, you!" I screamed at him, jumping up out of the chair. My emotions were surging passed all sane thought now. "You're just as bad! You go from girl to girl as if they're nothing but toys for you to use whenever you want. This isn't a game! These are people's lives-"

"Ms Hathaway," it took me a moment to realise that it was a doctor that had cut me off. "You're Luka's mother?" I spun around to face him, readying myself to hear what was wrong. At the same time, I was very aware that Dimitri had moved quickly forward so that he was by my side. As always, I was very much aware of his posture. There was a lot of tension there.

I knew we had some stuff to deal with, and would probably have to sit down at some stage and discuss what was going on…but not now. Now was about Luka.

"Could you both come with me please?" he asked, leading us to the little white trauma room.

I felt Dimitri's worried eyes looking at me from my peripheral, but I chose to ignore it, because surely, if I looked into the depth of those beautiful eyes, I would lose it all together.

And so, I concentrated on not collapsing as I followed the doctor to where Luka was being held.

* * *

**Please Read:**

**Wow. **

**I know that some of you guys know what's going on at the moment in my personal life, and others don't – so for that, I am sorry. And I am most definitely not going to bore you all with the details.**

**But let's just say it's been very difficult. The reviews I have received over the last while have been incredibly supportive and uplifting (most of the time that is!) – Other times not so much but I completely understand. It's not fair for me to stop writing in the middle of my stories, but it's just unavoidable at the present moment.**

**I've been spending any moment I could over the last few weeks just to write this chapter for you because you've all been so amazing. I hope that it will tide you over until June, when I will (hopefully) be back writing.**

**On a much better side – I am ****very happy**** to inform you that my story – the prequel to this one – **_**Hook, Line and Sinker won the Best Fanfic 2012!**_** :D It's just all so amazing and I want to thank each and every one of you that voted!**

**Talk to you all again soon,**

**Yours sincerely,**

**RDR**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sugar! I'm so sorry - I accidentally posted chapter 8 twice, but here is the real chapter 9 :)**

* * *

**Hello my dearies! Please please please do not hurt me for being away for so long. Thank you for all those who have been so understanding and so supporting. And to those who haven't, well I hope I haven't lost you guys along the way. I'm sorry if I have.**

**So it's almost June and I'm back :) Updates still won't be as often as they used to be but I won't disappear for a couple of months again!**

**You've all waited long enough so I'm not going to keep you any longer. Read & Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 9**

My mental state nearly unravelled completely when I saw my little boy lying on a clean white, tiny bed and hooked up different machinery and monitors that we were making various beeping noises.

I felt relieved when I saw that the oxygen mask had been abandoned to the side, meaning that Luka was breathing by his self…but it was short lived. Because then, I saw _it._

I saw the thin clear tube leading up the side of the bed, and disappearing underneath the covers.

"What's-" I tried my best to ask what the hell it was but my voice wouldn't let me. I didn't even feel like crying. I just felt like collapsing and going to sleep until this nightmare was over.

But I had to be strong. I had to power through this for Luka.

So instead of asking, I pointed to the tube and gave the doctor a questioning look.

"It's a chest tube," he informed me – or us, I guessed, seeing as Dimitri didn't look like he knew what it was either.

"Your baby has something that's called 'pneumothorax,' the doctor went on. Seeing our confused faces, he continued. "It's basically when one of the lungs collapses."

The doctor didn't say anything as he let the news sink in. I was speechless. I mean, what exactly are you supposed to say when you've been told your new born has a collapsed a lung? I managed to find something however.

"Is he- Is he going to be alright?" My voice cracked as I spoke, but it didn't matter anymore. I _had _to know what was going on, and I _had_ to know that he would be okay.

"We will closely monitor him for the rest of the day, but yes, he should be fine."

Beside me, I felt Dimitri let out a deep breath. His hand went to his head and he ran his fingers through it – something he did when he was frustrated, agitated or upset.

Or in this case, all three.

"So, eh, how did this happen exactly?" Dimitri asked. He didn't seem to sure who he was asking – me or the doctor. I wasn't either, but I could almost feel his accusing glare burning through me. I chanced a glance at him, and thankfully, he wasn't glaring at me.

In fact, he wasn't even looking at me.

"Well, collapsed lungs are actually quite common in new-borns – particularly ones that are premature," the doctor explained. "It occurs when the alveoli in the lungs burst, causing air to gather in the pleural space, which is the space between the lung and the chest wall. There was no possible way you could've known this was going to happen," he added. "Sometimes they just do."

"How do you treat it?" Dimitri asked him, looking over at Luka who was still lying soundlessly on the white sheet.

"We're hoping that he won't need treatment," the doctor told us. "More often than not, the chest tube alone will ease up the pressure and the air leak will go away itself within a couple of days. We don't want to put him on a breathing machine as this can actually add more pressure to the lung, causing further damage."

I nodded my understanding and moved to my baby's side. Tentatively, I reached out and stroked his soft little cheek carefully. I felt as though he was so fragile that he would just disappear at any moment.

"We're going to have people monitoring him all day," the doctor said to me. I realised that the two men in the room were watching me. I carefully avoided Dimitri's eyes. "They'll be checking his breathing, heart rate, oxygen levels and skin colour constantly. There's no need to worry. Your baby is in very good hands."

Dimitri thanked him and the doctor went to tend to somebody else's problem. No matter how much he wanted to talk, or how mad he was at me, Dimitri knew me well. And he knew that right now, all I needed was some time alone with Luka.

And so he left to fill out some hospital paperwork at the front desk of the ER, closing the door gently as he left.

The tears finally spilled from eyes onto my cheeks. My fingers went from his cheek to his tiny fist, which was clenched. I eased it open gently with my own fumbling fingers, almost forcing him to relax. I hated to see that he was distressed, and all I wanted to do was hold him close to me and make him safe.

"We're gonna be okay…" it took me a moment to realise that it was me that had spoken as I tried my very best to comfort him around all these tubes and machines.

"Rose?"

I turned and saw that Mia and Sydney had appeared in the doorway. Both hurried forward when they saw my quickly breaking down state.

"Dimitri told us what happened," Sydney said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop those damn tears from pouring over.

Neither of them said anything else as they sat beside me. I knew that they didn't know what to say to comfort me. They were two of my closest friends…but they weren't Lissa.

It may have seemed mean, but Lissa was my person. She was the person I went to the first time I talked to boy, my first kiss, when I got my first period, my first boyfriend, the first time I had sex, the person I talked to about everything.

But Lissa wasn't here. And I had to make-do.

Mia held my hand impressively tightly, while Sydney stood and let me cry quietly into her as she stroked my hair soothingly.

After a few moments, I managed to get myself under control and wiped my eyes on my sleeve, not caring that I had smeared mascara all over it.

There was a gentle knock at the door.

"Hey," a voice said quietly. I saw that it was Ivan standing there. He looked, quite frankly, scared to come any further in case I actually killed him. I wondered how long he'd been outside the door, trying to get the right moment to come inside.

"Hey," I replied, my voice sounding raw, but a little stronger now.

"You okay?" he took a hesitant step forward.

I sighed and looked up at him. "I'm fine Ivan, what do you want?"

He came closer and crouched down beside me. He placed his hand on my arm in a comforting manner. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Just leave me alone." I didn't look him in the face, but I could tell that he was upset by my cold tone. Before he had a chance to leave however, Dimitri returned.

He gave Ivan a look and suddenly, Ivan backed off.

"I'll see you guys later," he mumbled and backed out of the room, looking like he didn't want to but would no doubt face Dimitri's wrath later if he didn't.

"We'll go too," Sydney said to me. Mia gave my hand one last squeeze and they left, leaving me alone with Luka and Dimitri.

I waited for him to say something and when he didn't, I glanced up at him.

I expected him to either be looking at Luka in concern, or me in anger. Instead he was doing neither.

He was looking at _me _in concern.

"Roza-"

"Don't," I replied, looking away from him. The last thing I needed was him to be concerned about me. I had some pride at the end of the day.

"Don't what?" he retorted, sounding a little angry. "What Rose?"

"Don't look at me concerned! I don't deserve it." He just looked at me blankly, and then a look of comprehension dawned on his tired face.

"You feel guilty, don't you?" he asked, walking slowly to my side. He pulled up a chair near me and leaned forward so that his elbows were resting on his knees, and his face was closer to mine. "Don't you?"

"I should've been watching him more closely," I whispered, feeling a now-all-too-familiar ache in my chest. "Of course I feel guilty. I was too preoccupied with…other things to notice that something was wrong."

"Rose, it wasn't your fault," Dimitri said, placing his hand on mine. It had been resting in my lap but I quickly removed it so that I couldn't feel the tingles from his skin. He didn't seem _too _fazed, but a little shocked. It wasn't often that I didn't let him touch me.

"Why are mad at Ivan?" he asked me suddenly, obviously recalling my earlier outburst towards him.

After actually thinking about it for a moment, I realised that I wasn't.

"I'm not mad at him," I told Dimitri, still refusing to look him in the eye. "I'm mad at you."

"Rose, you don't really believe that I-"

"I don't know what to believe anymore!" I yelled suddenly, making him flinch ever so slightly. "I never believed that I would get pregnant before the age of 25 – if ever! I never believed that I could have someone so important in my life that I would give up _everything _for them! I never believed that Luka would get sick and be back in hospital not even two months after coming out of it! And I never believed that _you _would ever hurt me in the way that you have!" For a moment, I was terrified that my tears would make another appearance, but thankfully, they didn't.

"I haven't done anything to you!" Dimitri replied, looking definitely angry now. "And if you think that I have, why not confront me about it instead of running away all the time! You can't keep doing it, Rose!"

"I can't keep doing what?" I retorted. "We're not all like you, Dimitri. We're not all heroes. We can't all just walk into pain without getting hurt ourselves."

He looked at me in shock. "I'm not hurt? You think I don't care about what's happening here? _He's my child too, Rose._"

"Can you please leave?" I turned my head so that he wouldn't see those horrid tears returning. "I don't want to talk anymore."

"No," he replied. "I'm not going anywhere, Rose. I have a right to be here too."

I stood up. "Well, then I'll leave."

"You're doing it again!" he said from behind me. "Running."

"Well, you're right, I don't want to run anymore!" I spun around and told him.

"So what is it exactly that you want to do?" he replied, looking intently at me, as though trying to work out what was going on in my head.

"I want to take a break."

"From?" he prompted, looking at me expectantly, not understanding where I was going with this.

"From us, Dimitri."


	10. Chapter 10

**I guess, given the number of reviews of the last chapter compared to normal, that I have lost a few readers so I'm sorry for that. **

**But I have you guys! And you guys are awesome :D **

**This chapter was originally going to be longer, but I really wanted to update tonight so here you are. :) Enjoy chapter 10 of Learning Curves.**

**Chapter 10**

"You said what?"

I groaned and covered my face with my hands.

"Are you sure you're not being a little drastic?" Sydney asked me as we sat in hers and Mia's apartment.

"I- I don't know!" I told her and flung myself back against the couch. "He cheated Sydney!"

"Did he though?" she replied, sitting beside me. "I mean, did he actually say 'I cheated'?"

"No," I replied. "But I'm not an idiot! It was fairly obvious. How many other reasons are there for having a strange, attractive, _naked _woman in your house at like 8am?"

"Maybe he does have a reason?" she suggested. I groaned and buried my face in a cushion. _This _is exactly where I needed Lissa. Liss knew exactly when to be the voice of reason, and when to support me and let me wallow in self-pity.

"What does it mean exactly?" Mia asked suddenly. We both looked at her in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"What does 'taking a break' mean?" she asked me. "What did you mean when you said it to him?"

"I- I'm not sure exactly. Just that we're, well, taking a break."

"Does that mean you guys have broken up?"

"I- no! Maybe…I don't know, Mia! Stop asking me questions!" I groaned again and walked to the nearest bedroom, which happened to be Sydney's. I stopped walking when I noticed how cold and unused it felt and looked when I entered. I turned back to my two friends who watching me cautiously.

"Where _were _you last night exactly?" I demanded from Sydney, who turned beet red.

"Nowhere!" She seemed to shrink back into the couch when I sent her an I'm-not-taking-anymore-bullshit glare. "I- I was with a guy."

For a moment, I actually thought Mia was having a heart attack.

"You were WHAT?" She exclaimed, spinning around on the couch. She launched herself closer to Sydney, almost landing in her lap. "_You _were with a guy? _All _night? Do you realise what you are implying? Who was it?" Sydney looked terrified to be on the other side of the interrogation. I was just glad somebody else now knew how it felt.

Although right now, I was starting to wish that I _was _Sydney, maybe that way my problems wouldn't be problems.

I immediately squashed the thought. If my problems didn't exist, it would mean that neither would Dimitri and Luka…

And I most definitely couldn't exist in a world that they didn't.

"Mia, let it go!" Sydney was hush-whispering. "This is not about me! We're talking about Rose and Dimitri here!"

Mia looked like the last thing she wanted to – or could do – was let it go. But somehow, they both managed to redirect their attention to me.

_Great. _

They pulled me down so that I was sitting in between them on the couch. I lay down so that my head was in Sydney's lap.

"I wonder what Lissa will say about all of this?" Mia mused, picking at her already perfectly shaped nails.

"Do me favour," I said to both of them. "Promise me you won't tell her about all of this until after she gets back. I don't want to worry her when she's on her honeymoon."

Mia and Sydney's silence spoke legends.

"You already told her, didn't you?!"

"I'm sorry!" Mia exclaimed.

"Mia!"

"I thought she might want to know that her godson's in hospital!" She retorted, curling her legs up under her.

I sat up and combed my hand through my hair. "Well, what did she say?"

"Eh…something along the lines of 'she's been going for less than two days and everything falls to pieces' and then something about 'killing us all just so she can get some peace.'

"Fantastic," I muttered.

**DPOV**

I pushed aside the words Rose had said and paced the hospital room in anger. Mia and Sydney had taken her room to calm down and freshen up, while I was staying with Luka.

When they returned later, we had agreed that I could go home for the night and come back in the morning so that someone was with him at all times.

However, the doctor had returned to re-check Luka's vitals and his breathing. I wondered how things had gotten so messed up – only 48 hours ago he had been sitting happily at home with his girlfriend and their new born baby.

…and now…

Luka was in hospital in an intensive care unit and rose was…well, I didn't want to dwell on the words we had exchanged earlier.

The doctor returned, breaking me from my thoughts and informed me that Luka was doing very well. I felt relief again and was let back in to see him.

The time passed slowly as I sat with his tiny, sleeping body; waiting for…well I'm not sure what I was waiting for. Luka to wake up? Rose to return? I didn't know.

I got my answer a couple of hours later when the door opened and my head automatically snapped up, expecting and hoping to see my Roza standing there…

It was only Ivan, however.

"Oh, its you."

"Nice to see you too," Ivan retorted sarcastically and entered the room. His joking façade dried up quickly as he shut the door. "How you doing?"

"I'm fine."

"No seriously. Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

I had to look away from the exasperated expression on Ivan's face.

"Oh, eh, I don't know(!)" He replied, putting a finger to his chin and pretending to think. "Maybe because you're baby's in hospital and you're girlfriend left you?"

"She did not _leave _me," I retorted, my anger seeping out into my tone and actually making Ivan take a step back.

"Look, D, I'm sorry," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "I know you're hurting and- just hear me out, alright?" He said quickly, seeing that I was about to interrupt. "I know a lot has happened and you're overwhelmed…but I also know _you. _And I know that when you get mad, you push people away. For once, I'm alright with that – _as long_ as you don't push Rose away. You guys are going through some stuff but right now, Luka needs you both, and you guys need each other. Everything will work out in the end."

The room was silent for a few moments as his words sunk.

"Ivan…" He glanced up, looking almost afraid that I would hurt him.

"…that may be the most best friend-ish thing you have ever said."

And with that, the tension broke and Ivan's high-spirited attitude returned.

"Well, I do try," he replied, grinning and flicking up his collar.

Ivan sat with him for the entire evening and I realised how lucky I was to have a friend like him…and I made a promise to myself that I would appreciate him more in the future.

There was a small knock on the door and then it opened. The doctor entered and I automatically stood back so that he could check Lukfelty eatery squeezed when I saw that Roza was right behind him.

"How is he?" Her beautiful voice cracked when she spoke – as though as she hadn't spoken in a while.

"He's been pretty stable since you left," I replied, realising my own voice sounded the same. An awkward silence hung between us as the doctor continued his observations.

I hated it.

Silence between the two of us had always been comfortable – both of us always at ease. This awkwardness was unfamiliar territory…and I _despised _it.

"Everything looks good," the doctor announced. "His vitals are all good and his airway seems clear; the tube is working so it seems. I'm going to keep him in overnight and all of tomorrow, and then if all is well, you can take him home."

"Thank you," Rose whispered and ran her fingers across Luka's forehead.

"Will one of you be staying here tonight? If so, I can have a make-shift bed arranged for you."

"That'd be great," Roza gave him a small smile and returned her attention back to Luka. The doctor left and Ivan began to gather his stuff.

"Rose-" I began.

"Not now, Dimitri," she cut me off, her tone stiff. "I can take over from here."

My anger returned when I realised that she was _still_ mad.

"Fine." It took a lot of effort on my part not to retaliate, knowing that whatever I would've said, I would've regretted it in the morning. Ivan clapped a hand to my shoulder and began walking out ahead of me. I kissed Luka's forehead, promising to be back in the morning and then moved to leave the room.

"Ivan, could I talk to you for a sec?" Ivan gave me a quick look, as though asking my permission to stay back for a moment. I nodded, still to fuming to do anything but leave the room, leaving the two of them behind me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Ivan POV**

Dimitri kept walking, not looking back at neither me nor Rose as he did. The door swung shut behind me, sending out a bang that sounded much louder in the now-silent room.

Rose didn't say anything for a long time – so long that I had been thinking about breaking the silence when finally, she spoke.

"He looks so much smaller…"

I looked at Luka, who did actually look very tiny on the big, clean, white bed.

"Yeah," I agreed, not sure what else to say. "He does."

"Ivan?" Rose suddenly asked, her voice sounding timid and quiet, so different to her usual bubbly, full of life self. I realised that it had been quite a while since she had sounded like her proper self. "Is there something I should know?"

"Something you should know?"

"About Dimitri. Has he-" she paused to swallow. "Has he been with someone else?"

I started.

"Dimitri?!" I repeated, not sure if I had heard correctly. When she didn't reply, I burst out laughing – not because I was laughing _at _her, just because the idea of Dimitri cheating on his girlfriend was more than freaking hilarious…because it would never happen.

Rose didn't look like she appreciated my mirth.

"He didn't cheat on me, did he?" She asked quietly, once I had quietened down.

"No, Rose, he didn't. I stayed at your place with a girl last night."

"Shit…" Her hands moved up and clasped two handfuls of her hair. "Shit."

"So you guys had a fight, what's the big deal?" I said to her. "It's about time; you guys have been way too lovey-dovey."

I turned to face her when she didn't answer.

"Rose? Are you okay?"

I took a step towards her and noticed that there were tears on her cheeks.

"Hey, hey, hey," I quickly pulled up a chair beside her and wrapped an arm around her . "Ssh…it's okay, Rose. Dimitri will forgive you, you know? He loves you way too much to let you go after a silly fight."

"It's not that – not really," she said, her voice cracking. "I just- I just don't feel like myself…I haven't since I gave birth. It's like I can't ever just feel _happy. _And none of the others have had a baby so they can't understand what I'm trying to explain."

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing," I told her. "It might be easier to talk to someone _outside_ of our circle of friends."

"You think?"

"As long as you stop pushing Dimitri and your friends away, then yes, I think that's a good idea."

Rose was silent for a long time after that, her hand tracing Luka's tummy, lost in thought.

"You can go," she told me, suddenly looking up. "Dimitri's probably waiting for you. "We'll be fine here," she added, when she realised that I was about to protest.

"How about _you _go?" I suggested. "I'll stay with Luka."

Rose didn't look like she was too sure about leaving; her eyes were darting back and forth between me and Luka.

"We'll be fine," I assured her. "I'll call you if anything changes. You need to go find him and patch things up."

She stood up and gave me a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered gratefully, before kissing Luka's cheek. "I'll see you in the morning, okay baby?"

I managed to get her out before she changed her mind, and then settled down in the seat she had previously been sitting in.

Luka slept peacefully that night, blissfully unaware of everything going on around him.

* * *

**RPOV**

Dimitri's car was gone when I reached the parking lot. I spent a little over ten minutes searching for my own car when I remembered that I hadn't driven it here in the first place.

I ran for a couple of blocks before finally coming across a cab that would take me back home. I didn't even look at the driver before I thanked him and threw him some cash.

I hurried up the stairs and started banging on the apartment door.

"Dimitri?" I yelled through the wood. "Dimitri, are you there? It's me."

There was no answer and I tried the doorknob…to find that it was unlocked. I swung the door open and called him once more. Again, there was no answer. I searched the entire apartment until I finally admitted to myself that he wasn't here.

"Shit…" I plopped down on the couch, feeling exhausted. How the hell had life gotten so bad so quickly?

I knew exactly _why - _God, or whoever was up there had decided I'd had enough happiness and it was only fair to take it away from me now. My turn was over.

After a couple of minutes of wallowing in self-pity, I mentally slapped myself and stood up.

No. No, I would not do this to myself. _Of course _I could be happy. But in order to be happy, I needed to go out and fix everything that I had blown over the past month. I thought of Lissa and what she would say if she were here beside me.

She would most definitely have hit me and told me to get my shit together and go find Dimitri. To not rest until I had.

A small smile graced my face; one that although small, gave me the push I needed to get up off of my ass and go find the love of my life.

I sprinted to the door, grabbed my keys and slammed it shut. I drove around the city, no exact destination in mind. I just drove, searching in every direction for Dimitri, his car, or something that would indicate where he was.

Finally, all of my driving paid off.

I spotted his black Grand Cherokee parked outside of a bar a couple of minutes away from our apartment. I didn't even bother parking my own car properly before jumping out and hurrying inside.

I didn't spot him straight away, making me wonder if it had been his jeep outside at all, but after a moment of scanning, I spotted him with his head down at the counter.

I walked over to him and was about to announce my presence when some other woman – who just happened to look like a total tramp – approached him and introduced herself.

I walked in curiosity (and a little jealously) as she tried to strike up a conversation. If you could even call it that. The bitch was all over him, touching his arm and even going as far as to try and whisper something dirty in his ear.

Fury raged through me and I was about to step in when Dimitri abruptly pulled away from her.

"Just leave me alone, okay?" he told her. I was shocked to hear a pleading tone in his voice. The woman really didn't look too happy about being brushed off so easily but somehow, I managed to catch her eye and she slinked off – no doubt to find some other hot guy to take her home.

My anger disappeared and turned to guilt as I watched Dimitri – who still hadn't a clue that I was here – sigh and bury his hands in his hair. I was about to say something to him when he abruptly downed the rest of his scotch.

Without having to say a word, the bartender approached him and poured him another glass, which Dimitri again, drank straight away. The bartender was about to refill it again when I stopped him.

"Hey," I said quietly, sitting myself in the stool beside Dimitri.

"Look, I told you, _leave me alone._" The hostility in his voice almost surprised me – Dimitri was not an aggressive person.

"It's just me," I told him, making him glance up in surprise, no doubt recognising my voice.

His shocked expression quickly turned to panic.

"What- Is it Luka? Why aren't you with him? Is he okay?" I hurriedly gave his warm hand a squeeze to stop him from having a heart attack.

"He's fine. Ivan's with him," I told him. "I wanted to see if you were okay."

Dimitri relaxed a little bit, but there was still a certain amount of tension in his muscles. He looked into his glass as if hoping some more alcohol had appeared.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

Dimitri flagged down the bartender, silently signalling for another glass.

"Haven't you had enough?" I asked him nervously as he downed yet another glass.

"Was does it matter?" he retorted. "I'm obviously not responsible enough to look after you or Luka, so why should I be responsible enough to look after myself?"

"Dimitri, I'm sorry! Alright? I've been a mess and I accused you of something you didn't do because I've been so distant and I thought that maybe you'd had enough of me and my shit. And as for Luka, what happened was _not _your fault. What happened to him was going to happen whether you were there or not."

He didn't reply, but just stared straight ahead, his fingers playing with his now empty glass.

"Dimitri? Did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah," he replied quietly after a moment. "I heard."

"And?"

"_And_ I can't believe you'd even think in the first place that I would cheat on you."

"But that's what I'm trying to say!" I exclaimed, perhaps a little too loudly but at this stage, I didn't care who heard me. "It's like I'm not_ me! _I'm so full of these after-birth hormones that I don't feel like myself! I'm second-guessing every single thing I do, and everything everybody else does around me too! And then I saw you talking to that really pretty girl at the wedding – a girl who hadn't just given birth and wasn't acting all moody – and I thought that you going off with her was a very real possibility. You can't tell me that you never thought about it? When you were talking to her, you didn't think that _maybe _it would have been nice to just have some great sex, considering we hadn't in more than two months."

Dimitri looked scandalised.

"Rose, you _have_ to believe me when I say this: that thought _never _crossed my mind. Not that night, nor any night since I met you. Plus, the only reason I was talking to her was because she was asking about Ivan; it was him that she wanted. Are you telling me that you had those urges?" I had to admit, he looked genuinely broken at the idea.

"Of course I didn't! But it's different for a guy. I'd just given birth! It was physically _and _mentally impossible for me to even think about having sex. You were free to do whatever you wanted, with whoever you wanted!"

With that statement, Dimitri spun around and gripped my shoulders.

"Rose, I've never been free. Ever since I met you, I've been completely captivated. There is no way out of this for me – and I don't want there to be, because I'm not going anywhere; not without you and Luka. I love _you._"

I felt a tear escape from my eye as he declared his love. For so long, I had hoped I would hear these words again, and now that he had said them, I felt like everything really would be okay again.

"_I'm so sorry,_" My voice broke as more tears appeared. Dimitri wrapped his arms around me and held me tight to his strong body. I clung to him and cried – right there in the middle of the bar. It didn't matter though. All that mattered was that I was in Dimitri's arms again, and he would make everything okay.

"I've missed you," he whispered into my ear. We broke apart but were still close – probably too close for such a public setting.

"God, I've missed you too," I replied as best I could without breaking down again. "And I love you. And Luka. More than anything in the world."

"Then how about we go see him?" Dimitri suggested, standing up and stumbling a little. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my mouth, despite our baby being in hospital.

"I think maybe we should head home first," I replied, throwing some cash on the bar and wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him upright. "You may need a shower and some sleep before going _anywhere._"

Dimitri didn't disagree and so I helped him into the passenger seat of his jeep while I then climbed in to drive. Not being used to it, I drove much more slowly and more carefully, all the while being very much aware of the fact that Dimitri was gazing at me.

We arrived back home and he leaned slightly on me as we ascended the stairs.

"You're so beautiful you know," he said, tracing his fingers along my cheek once we were inside the apartment.

"And you're so drunk," I retorted, laughing and leading him to our bedroom. He sat down on the bed while I went into the bathroom to switch on the shower.

"Come on," I said to him, walking back into the room and seeing that he had fallen back onto the bed. He groaned as I pulled him back up into a sitting position and began to undress him.

I finally managed to get him down to his boxers when he suddenly crushed his lips to mine.

"Dimitri," I warned, pulling back slightly. "Shower. Now."

"Shower with me," he whispered, placing a soft kiss on my shoulder. "We don't have to do anything, I just want to be close to you."

A little soft talk and a few kisses later, I agreed. We spent a lot longer than we should have under the hot water, but he was right. It was nice just to feel that closeness that had been lost for a little while again. We didn't have sex – _that, _I was sure my body wasn't ready for _quite _yet…but we very sensually shampooed each other's hair and scrubbed and explored one another's body's.

Eventually, when the water started to turn cold, we decided it was time to get out. I checked my phone and saw that Ivan had sent me text a little under twenty minutes ago, letting me know that everything was good and that he would stay with Luka for the night while we made up.

And so, knowing that our baby was in the best hands possible, Dimitri and I climbed into bed, me snuggling into his chest and him nuzzling into my hair.

For the first time since Luka had been born, we both slept peacefully, just holding one another in comfort and in love.

* * *

**Happy now? xD**

**(quick note; those of you who are waiting for me to update my other stories, _I will_ get to them, I promise! Just try and imagine having six different stories on the go - it's freaking difficult! It's my own fault really though :P I'm just going to focus on two of my stories at the moment, and one that I have not yet published [soon ;)] and then I will move to the others. It shouldnt take me too long.) **

**Love you guys, and review! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Dimitri, wake up," I wiggled around in his arms to try and stir him. Somewhere in the middle of the night I had turned, causing him to press his chest to my back and wrap his strong arms around me.

He groaned in his sleep quietly and tightened his grip on me.

"Hey," I tried to break free again. "Dimitri, come on! We've got to go to the hospital."

"Okay…" he grumbled but made no attempt to move. He did, however, move his lips to my neck and start placing sweet kisses on my skin, sending shivers down through my body. I wasn't going to lie, but I missed him; in every sense of the word.

"Luka, Dimitri," I whispered to him, reminding him of our sick baby. I felt him nod against my skin and finally, he loosened his grip. Sitting up, I checked my phone to make sure Ivan hadn't contacted either of us during the night. Despite having both of our phones on beside us, I couldn't help but check the screen every five minutes just to make sure.

The night Dimitri and I had spent together was wonderful, and very much needed. Now, however, my maternal instincts were kicking in and I just needed to be near my baby.

We didn't delay in getting ready to go but we did however, have to swing by the bar from last night and pick up my car – which I had left there overnight when I'd gone to rescue Dimitri. Thankfully, it was still there – undamaged and untouched. I gave Dimitri a quick kiss before hopping out and jumping into my own car.

I followed him to the hospital, parked in the space right beside his, and took his hand as we made our way through the corridors. At this stage, I was feeling very anxious to see Luka. The tension in Dimitri's hand and body in general, told me that he was too.

Dimitri opened the door with ease but froze when he entered.

I pushed my way in to see what was the matter, panic seizing my every muscle, nerve and thought.

The room was empty.

"Wh- Are you sure this is the right room?" I said quickly, trying to stay calm. I pulled out my phone to see if Ivan had called or texted.

"Positive," Dimitri replied, double checking the number on the door. "Stay calm, ok? I'm sure everything's fine; Ivan would've called if they had any reason to worry."

"You're right, you're right…" Despite Dimitri's soothing and my own self-assurance, I couldn't help the fear that took hold of me.

_No._ _Luka was okay. He was fine. We would hopefully get to take him home today,_ I told myself, glancing around for anyone who might know where he was.

"Excuse me?"

Dimitri and I turned as a nurse came out of the neighbouring room.

"Are you Mr and Mrs Belikov?"

We were both too worked up to correct her on our non-marital status.

"Yes," I replied. "Do you know where our son is?"

"Yes, he was moved from ICU early this morning," she informed us. "Dr Johnson said he was out of the danger zone and so moved him to another ward. If you follow the corridor to the end and then make a left, you'll be going in the right direction. Room 15C."

"Thank you," Dimitri replied gratefully and gripped my hand. We hurried down the hall, both still uneasy but much calmer. If the doctor said that he no longer needed to be in the Intensive Care Unit, then that was a good sign…right?

Both of us halted at the sight in front of us the minute we entered the room.

Luka had been placed in a small glass cot – one that was not unlike the one he had been in when he was born – and Ivan's slumbering body was draped across it.

I turned to grin at Dimitri at the sight and saw that he had already taken a picture. I shot him a questioning look.

"You never know," he replied slyly. "We might need the leverage one day."

"Hey guys." My head snapped over to the corner of the room, where I suddenly realised Mia and Sydney were sitting.

"Hey, I didn't see you there."

They both just smiled, looking tired. Mia nodded towards Ivan.

"He fell asleep about two hours ago. He refused to sleep during the night in case he missed something."

My smile got wider and I walked over to the sleeping twosome.

"Zeklos," I gave him a little jab, startling him awake.

"Wh- Ow…" he jumped into an upright position, his hand immediately going to his neck when it cracked loudly.

"Relax, it's just us," Dimitri told him, pulling up another chair beside the cot. He pulled me down so that I was sitting on his lap but I could still reach Luka.

"Hi baby," I said quietly, stroking my finger against his tiny fist. "I missed you." I felt Dimitri smile into my hair and then rest his chin on my shoulder.

"I see you two made up," I looked up to see that Ivan was smirking at both of us. "It's no wonder you guys are so late arriving here."

I let him banter away with Dimitri while I examined our baby thoroughly. I was still terribly worried that something was still wrong, but looking at him, he almost seemed completely like himself – maybe a little paler, but his breathing was much better than it had been.

"Rose, did you hear what I said?" I looked up to see both Ivan and Dimitri looking at me.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said your parents were here this morning."

"My parents?" I repeated dumbly. Why were they here? I hadn't talked to either of them since Luka was born; other than the occasional conversation with my father about work and how things were going. "Why?"

"I think someone them called and told them Luka was in hospital," Ivan shrugged.

"Who would call them? Was it you?" I turned around in his lap and asked Dimitri.

He shook his head. "No, I didn't even tell my own family."

"Then who did?" I wondered.

"I leave you guys for less than two days and everything goes to hell!"

The familiar voice that entered the room shocked me.

"Lissa! What the hell are you doing back here?" I exclaimed, taking in her slightly more tanned, but severely disgruntled look.

"What do you think?" She retorted. She didn't look mad as such, just annoyed. "We had to cut our honeymoon short so that we could fix everything that you guys had messed up!" It was then that I noticed Christian standing behind her. He didn't look mad either, not even annoyed. Just exhausted. Lissa sighed and excused herself to go to the adjoining bathroom.

"Sorry," Christian apologised quietly once the door was shut. "We just came from the airport; she's a little cranky. How is he?" He dropped their luggage beside the door and approached the cot.

"We haven't been talking to the doctor yet this morning, but he told Ivan that everything was looking much better."

"That's good," he smiled at the sleeping baby. "Lissa really panicked when she heard."

"Sorry to ruin you're honeymoon Chris," I apologised. I didn't think they'd actually fly home to be with Luka, but then again, who was I kidding? I mean, this was _Lissa_.

He waved my apology away and pulled up another chair.

"Rose?" Lissa poked her head out from the bathroom. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

I pushed myself off Dimitri's lap and followed her into the small bathroom.

Before I could say anything, Lissa engulfed me in a hug.

"I'm sorry for being mad at you," she rambled. "I didn't mean it, I was just worried about Luka, and then about you and Dimitri. I can't believe you didn't tell me any of this!"

"Oh, yeah, like I was going to call you up on your honeymoon and laden you with all of my problems," I replied sarcastically, leaning back from Lissa's tight grip.

"You could've!" She insisted. "I wouldn't have minded!"

Before she could go on, the door opened a crack and Mia and Sydney snuck in.

"Hey!" Mia whispered excitedly and hugged Lissa properly. "Nice to see you too Liss(!)" Sydney rolled her eyes and also gave Lissa a hug.

"Mia rang me and told me you and Dimitri were on the rocks" Lissa looked at me. I sent Mia a half-serious glare. "But you guys look quite cosy to me."

"We made up last night," I assured them. "It's kind of a long story. How was your honeymoon going?"

"Good," she replied, her face lighting up so much that you could barely notice the tired bags under her eyes. "Really good! But we'll talk about that later – right now, we should probably head back out there; the guys will be getting freaked out."

Sydney opened the door, Mia on her heels. I was right behind them when Lissa grabbed my arm and held me back.

"Rose, I kinda have to tell you something - but not now. Will you and Dimitri come over for dinner later?"

I agreed and eventually, we both left the bathroom.

I could see the guys shooting us curious looks, but none of them said anything about our girl-rendezvous in the bathroom.

"Oh," I said remembering something. "Liss, was it you that called my parents?"

Her sheepish look confirmed my thoughts.

"Liss!"

"I'm sorry! But I was freaking out and couldn't get through to anyone who had information! So I called your father cos I figured he knew."

"Well he knows now," Ivan grumbled, probably thinking about the interrogation my parents had given him this morning. I wouldn't have expected anything less in all honesty; they _were_ FBI agents after all.

"Where's Dimitri?" I asked, suddenly noticing his absence.

"He went down to the cafeteria to get you guys some breakfast," Ivan replied. "Said you guys didn't have time to eat this morning." And for special Ivan-effect, he winked at that last part. I rolled my eyes in response and sat back down beside Luka.

His little eyelids were fluttering; this always happened when he had a particularly engrossing dream. I watched him in fascination as his little fists balled up and then relaxed, over and over again.

About half an hour passed and still no sign of Dimitri.

"Maybe there was a really long queue?" Mia suggested.

"In a hospital?" She just shrugged.

"Would you guys keep an eye on Luka for a few minutes?" I asked no one in particular and glanced out into the corridor. There was no sign of him anywhere. "I'll be back in a few."

I wandered to the elevators, wondering what could have held him up. He wouldn't have left the building without me, or at least without telling me, that was for sure.

The elevator brought me down to the ground floor where the cafeteria was along with the customers service station.

I quickly scanned the crowded room and finally spotted him sitting at a lunch table…with my father.

I approached them, wondering what on earth they could possibly be talking about. As soon as I got within ten feet of them, Dimitri noticed me and cleared his throat loudly. Abe stopped saying whatever he had been about to say and looked over his shoulder at me.

"Rose," He stood up, Dimitri after him. "How've you been?"

"Alright," I answered, narrowing my eyes at them. "What were you talking about?"

Abe let out a careless laugh…maybe a little _too _careless. Dimitri's body language also seemed a little nervous.

Yes, I noticed these things, because let's not forget, I was a successful FBI agent too.

"Just guy things," Abe went on nonchalantly. "How's my little grandson doing?"

"He's ok," I told him, deciding to let it go…for now. "We're still waiting for the doctor, so Dimitri?" I looked at him and gestured towards the elevators.

"Of course," he said, picking up his coffee cup. "Abe." He nodded politely to my father and began walking away with me.

"What the hell was _that _about?" I asked him once we were safely in the elevator.

Dimitri handed me the coffee cup he was holding to let me have some. "Just work stuff."

"What kind of work- Hey!" My mind forgot about the suspicious conversation as the elevator doors _dinged _open and I spotted the doctor walking away from Luka's room.

He turned at the sound of my voice and a smile grew on his face.

"Mr and Mrs Belikov," He greeted us, sticking his official-looking clipboard under his arm. Again, neither of us bothered to correct him…and a part of me was actually beginning to really like the sound of that.

"How's our baby doing?" Dimitri asked him, a look of worry etched into the tired lines on his face.

"I've just been in with him and checked all of his vitals. Everything looks good. He had a very good night – better than we could've hoped for. I've even got nurses taking out his chest tube as we speak. He'll be fit to go home after that."

"Is his lung ok then?" I asked.

"Yes, the chest tube worked and the lung has re-inflated. But I would keep a very close eye on him at all times. Once it happens the first time, it's quite likely it could happen again. Try and make sure he gets lots of rest, and don't let him cry for too long; that could aggravate the lung and cause it to collapse again."

I kind of wanted to hug the man, but figured that would be weird and inappropriate…so instead I settled for shaking his hand and thanking him.

We entered the room to see two nurses just finishing up with Luka, who was _still _asleep. The poor thing was obviously exhausted; Dimitri and I hadn't been the only ones up almost every night.

"He's all set," one of them informed us. "Do you have a car seat with you?"

"It's in the car," Dimitri replied, grabbing our stuff from the room. I leaned close to Luka and picked him up, carefully so as not to wake him. He stirred slightly in my arms but snuggled close to my body.

Words couldn't describe just how much I had missed holding him in my arms. He was my world, and I had almost lost him.

But he was safe now. And I needed to get better so that I could protect him with every god-damn thing I had in me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Guest (sarahloveshorses) – Please read A/N at very end of chapter (feel free to skip through the chapter to the bottom.)**

**Chapter 13**

"Does his breathing sound okay?" Dimitri asked me worriedly from the driver's seat. I was sitting beside Luka in the back, who was strapped into his car seat.

"Relax, comrade," I smiled at him through the mirror. "He's breathing is the same as two minutes ago – the last time you asked."

Dimitri just shook his head at me and kept his eyes on the road. Because Luka's seat carrier was currently in Dimitri's jeep, we took his vehicle. Sydney promised to take my car, which had been left in the parking lot, home.

It was almost three o clock when we arrived home. I carried Luka upstairs to our apartment while Dimitri got my bag and his jacket.

"Are you hungry?" I asked Dimitri a couple of minutes after we arrived. He was sitting on the couch with Luka in his arms, whispering sweet things in Russian to the sleeping baby.

"That depends," he took a break and looked at me worriedly. "Are you cooking?"

"Hey!" I gave his arm a gentle slap. "I was just asking because Lissa and Christian invited us to dinner at around five."

"Oh, okay," he replied, his attention going back to Luka, who was making noises in his sleep. "I can hang on until then."

While Dimitri was engaged with Luka, I decided to take a bath, feeling the need to really relax before having to get ready for dinner.

I decided that while I was doing it, I might as well go all out. And so, I lit candles, got bath salts, played soothing music and plonked a stack of magazines beside the tub.

Before getting into the tub, I had to admire myself in the mirror. Not meaning to sound vain or anything but even I had to admit, for a mother of a five week old, I looked _good._ Like _really good._ All of that work before Lissa's wedding had paid off, and my figure was pretty much back to normal – apart from the enlarged breasts of course – but nobody was complaining too much about them…_especially_ Luka or Dimitri.

I climbed into the hot water and felt all of my muscles ease. I didn't even bother picking up a magazine; I was too focussed on how good it felt to sit still for once to bother reading.

"Hey," Dimitri's voice startled me a little.

"Oh hey!" I replied, faking horror. "Just walk on in, why don't you?"

He let out a chuckled. "It's nothing I haven't seen before. The proof of that is in his cot."

"Very true," I grinned. "You're keeping an eye on him, aren't you?"

Dimitri held up the baby monitor Lissa had given us in response. "Of course I am."

He placed the monitor on the edge of the sink and came to sit beside my head on the edge of the bath.

"You look comfortable," he commented, glancing around at the thousands of sweet smelling bubbles that filled the tub.

"Oh god, I am," I chuckled. "Feels nice to just relax for once. We never get to relax anymore, comrade."

"Not many new parents do, Roza," he told me, the use of his affectionate nickname for me making me feel all warm inside.

"I guess," I said. "Kind of makes you appreciate the quiet time when it's here."

"It sure does."

A comfortable silence engulfed us, before Dimitri left to get ready for dinner. I knew I had to get out of the tub now, otherwise I never would.

Wrapping myself in a fluffy towel, I went into the bedroom to dry off my hair and get dressed.

Because it was only a dinner between friends and not a big occasion, I decided on a simple black dress coupled with small black heels.

"Do you think that he's ok?" I asked Dimitri, walking out to the living room to see that Luka was back in Dimitri's arm again.

"Yeah," Dimitri assured me. "He's fine. He's just exhausted after everything."

He stood and wrapped Luka into a blanket before settling him into his carrier.

"You look nice," he gave me a smile that made my knees go weak. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yup," I grabbed the baby bag and let him carry Luka down to the car.

We arrived at Christian and Lissa's apartment across town ten minutes later.

"Hey guys!" Lissa greeted us happily. She was wearing a pretty baby pink dress with frills running down the front. "Come on in!"

"Christian's just finishing up in the kitchen," she told us as she shut the door behind us. "How's Luka doing?"

"He's tired," I told her, both of us glancing at the baby. "This is literally the quietest our lives have been since we had him," I joked.

"Aw, he's waking up!" She said excitedly. I could already sense the baby talk coming on.

"Hi Luka! How are you doing? Are you sleepy? You look very tired baby, yes you do," Lissa went on, her baby voice going to levels I've never heard before.

"Lissa, if he could, he would punch you."

"Oh shut up!" She grinned and beckoned us into the living room. "You guys want anything to drink?"

Before we could answer, Christian appeared with a tray of drinks.

He was also wearing an apron…with frills…which made me bust up laughing.

"I think you need a slightly more masculine apron Chris," I told him, trying to settle my laughter. He just made a face at me and proceeded to hand me a glass of lemonade.

"Thanks Christian." Lissa also grabbed some lemonade and Christian forced a beer on Dimitri.

It wasn't until we had just finished eating dinner when Luka _really _woke up.

His cry was enough to wake up the whole building.

Dimitri, being closer, removed him from his carrier and tried to calm him.

"I think he may be hungry," he decided. I took Luka from him and followed Lissa into their bedroom, leaving the guys to talk about whatever is was that guys talked about.

"What does it feel like?" Lissa asked me, watching closely as I fed Luka the way I had been from the very beginning.

"I dunno," I replied, trying to come up with a suitable comparison. "There's not really any feeling in the world like it to be honest. It feels amazing to be able to do it though; it's really like having a person depend on you 100%."

Lissa nodded, thinking about it. "Is he sleeping at night yet?"

"Not really," I told her, fixing the pillow beneath Luka's small body. "He's been sleeping a lot from when he went into hospital. I think we were just getting into a schedule, but I guess that's gone to the dogs now."

"What about all the middle of the night feedings? And labour? Is it really as awful as everyone says?"

"Lissa, what's with all the questions?" I asked her, shocked at the third degree.

She sighed and scooted up beside me. "You remember that thing I told you that I wanted to tell you? Back in the hospital?"

"Yeah…" I encouraged her, having a strong feeling I knew what it was she wanted to tell me.

"Well, I'm pregnant! Or, at least I think I am," she hurried on. "I haven't checked yet but I'm pretty sure."

"Seriously!" I looked at her in shock. "After only two days of a honeymoon? My, my, I may have underestimated Christian's ability."

"Rose!" She smacked my arm while I laughed. "I'm being serious here!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," I apologised, shifting Luka in my arms to get more comfortable. "How late are you?"

"Just a couple of days," she replied. "But you know me, I'm never late for anything!"

I laughed at the truth of that very statement. "You want me to get you a test?"

"No, no, that's okay," she told me. "I'm going to take one tonight to be sure and then tell Chris."

"Christian doesn't even know yet?" I asked her surprised she hadn't told him.

Lissa looked at me like I was crazy. "Are you kidding me? I wanted you to be the first to know. You're my best friend."

I gave her my best warm smile. "That's sweet, Liss."

"Plus, I was the first one to find out that you were pregnant."

I shot her an amused look. "Yes, but those circumstances were _slightly _different, Lissa. Me supposed to have been on birth control and all, along with the fact that Dimitri and I didn't even really know each other, just led to you being the first to find out because I happened to see your pills in your bathroom when I went in to brush my teeth."

"You still technically told me first." I smiled at her, not arguing. Had she not been there when _I_ had found out, she still would have been the first person I would have told about my pregnancy.

"Can I hold him?" she asked me suddenly, noticing that Luka was finished drinking and was wide awake.

"Sure," I gently handed over my recovering baby and fixed my dress to make sure everything was covered.

I watched Lissa as she gently cradled and rocked Luka back and forth. He watched her with interest; his little pink hands trying to reach upwards towards her platinum blonde hair. He didn't quite have complete control of his limbs just yet, and so his chubby little arms just swung about the place.

Lissa giggled at him and gripped one his fists. She started rubbing his tiny palm with her index finger and making faces at him.

And the next thing I knew,

Luka was smiling.

"Oh my god!" Lissa exclaimed, laughing along with me. "He's smiling! Has he ever done that before?"

"No!" I grinned happily. "Dimitri!"

Dimitri ran into the room a moment later, Christian on his heels.

"Look, quick!" I told him, pointing to where Lissa was still making faces and Luka was smiling happily back at her. "He's smiling!"

Less than ten seconds later, Dimitri was over beside me, gazing at our baby in awe.

I thought about the time that I had actually considered not telling Dimitri about my pregnancy…but how wrong it would have been – for everyone. It wouldn't have been fair to Luka, to not know his dad, and it would have been beyond wrong to keep all of these new experiences from Dimitri.

Not to mention how nice it was to have someone to share all of these monumental moments with for the first time.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Lissa said to Christian, who had walked around the bed to get a better look.

"It is," he agreed, grabbing Luka's other hand and doing the same thing.

"It really is," Dimitri whispered, his lips close to my ear. I leaned into him as the four of us continued to gaze at the happy baby for a long time, even after he had stopped smiling.

Eventually, we decided it was time to go home. Dimitri and I got our stuff and said goodbye. I made sure to send Lissa a supportive, best-friend-smile and a wink before taking the carrier off of Dimitri and heading downstairs.

Luckily for us, the short car ride home had been enough to get Luka to drift off to sleep. I moved him as carefully and as silently into his cot by our bed, where he stayed dozed off. Dimitri shot me a relieved smile and started to get ready for bed.

I couldn't really help myself from staring at him as he removed his shirt. It was on doctor's orders that we couldn't do anything…_physically _for at least 5-6 weeks. At the beginning, I had really thought it was going to be torture…but to be honest, both of us were so preoccupied and busy, that by the time night time rolled around, we were both too drained to even think about sex.

However, with Luka being just about five and a half weeks old, it meant that we would probably be okay to start to, well, _do _stuff again, but I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure what it would be like, or how different it would be after I had had the baby.

"See something you like?" he joked, noticing my staring and knocking me out of my train of thought.

"Hey, that's my line," I teased, sitting down on the bed. He sat down next to me and pulled me into his lap before I could say anything else.

For a moment I thought he was going to start tickling or messing with me, but he turned serious and just hugged me tightly; his face nuzzled into my neck and hair.

"I really didn't like fighting with you," he told me quietly, giving me an extra squeeze for emphasis.

"Me either, comrade, me either," I started running my hands in his hair, pleased with myself when I felt him shiver slightly. "But that's in the past now."

"Not really, Rose," he said, looking at me directly, seriousness written all over his eyes and face.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"You promised me that you'd see someone about your depression," he reminded me gently. "And I know that you've been really well today, but who's to say that you won't have a bad day tomorrow?"

I nodded, not saying anything for a moment.

"I made a promise to you," I began. "And I want to keep that promise. I _need _to keep that promise. For both our sakes and for Luka."

Dimitri smiled gratefully at me, seeming almost relieved, as if I might've refused to go to therapy point blank. He gently lifted me off of him and into our bed.

"Dimitri, I'm not even in my pyjamas yet," I poked him arm as he wound them around me.

"You don't need them," he whispered back into my neck and ear, making me shiver. I could feel his bare chest against my back as he began to kiss my skin.

"Dimitri, I-"

"It's okay," he cut my protests off, unsurprisingly knowing what I was thinking. "We won't do anything tonight."

"Thank you," I whispered back to him, snuggling even deeper into his strong chest.

In his arms, I felt as though I could take on any threat that would come our way.

As long as we were together, everything would be okay.

**AN – Sarahloveshorses (guest) – I'm so sorry! I actually did read your first review and the one you wrote most recently, and I completely forgot to acknowledge you! That's what writing at 2am will do to you! **

**Anyway, first off, you're review was amazingly long and awesome so thank you for that! Your praise was very much appreciated and it made me feel pretty great, so thanks :D**

**In relation to my story "It's a Tough World Out There;" It is temporarily on hold – emphasis on **_**'temporarily'**_** because I have six different stories on the go. Right now, I am focusing on two of my stories only, and then I will quickly return to my others. Do not worry: I have not ever – and will not ever – abandon or let**_**any **_**of my stories die out.**

**In relation to you being my beta, I'm actually not looking for one at the moment. But thank you for the offer! And I accept all constructive criticism as long as it is infact 'constructive.'** **I am actually at the moment taking into account what you said about me lengthening my chapters and I trying! I really am.**

**Once again, thank you for your review! And I know you said to post this at the top of the chapter but I knew my response would be quite long, and I don't like my readers to have to scroll through paragraphs after paragraphs.**

**Hope to hear back from you soon! **

**RDR**


	14. Chapter 14

**Some of you might have gotten an email saying I'd uploaded this chapter earlier, but I removed it again to do some tweaking. Anyway, here you are :)**

**Fanfic has been giving me some trouble this evening! So I apologise. Currently, there is no chapter 15 or 16 uploaded, just chapter 14. Sorry for any confusion :)**

**Chapter 14**

The whole hospital experience had actually been a sort of wake up call.

I realised that it didn't matter how many times I had to climb in and out of bed during the night to feed or comfort him, because all that mattered was that he was happy and safe.

Dimitri was great too – as always. I think he felt the same way, because every time I got up, he felt like he should too. So when I was feeding to rocking Luka, Dimitri would sit by my side and we would talk; just about little things – nothing major. But it was nice to have the quiet company.

On several occasions however, I had to send him back to bed, otherwise we'd both be completely worn-out and neither of us would be able to get up for good when morning rolled around.

A couple of days later, and hundreds of trips to and from my bed to Luka's cot, Dimitri and I were snuggled up against the pillows on our bed. It was early morning – _very_ early. Luka had woken up somewhere around half past five to be fed once again.

"So, comrade," I leaned into his chest and did my best to look at him without disturbing the hungry baby in my arms. "Are you looking forward to today?"

Today was the day that Dimitri's paternity leave was up, and he would return to work. Actually, his leave was up _last _week, but what with the whole hospital ordeal, Dimitri had asked Abe if he could have another week unpaid leave.

Abe being Abe, told Dimitri he would give him another week off, _paid_ leave; he said that as long as Dimitri was looking after his daughter and his grandson, then it was more than okay.

So, in about two hours, I would watch Dimitri get up and get dressed for work. I'd noticed that he'd been a little different the past couple of days. He'd been pouring himself over reports Abe had sent to him, eyes glued to the tv, trying to catch what had been going on while he'd been away. He'd also been talking to Abe a lot over the phone; which I had to admit, bothered me a little. I mean, my father didn't even talk to me, his own daughter, as much as he did Dimitri.

I knew Dimitri missed his work - I knew only too well. I too missed my job. I was happy for now to stay at home and take care of our baby, but when four months' time rolled around, I would be ready to return after my own leave.

"Yeah, I guess so," Dimitri replied, placing a kiss on my temple. "Although I am going to miss being here with you and Luka. Are you sure you can manage by yourself? I could ask Abe for another week or two off if you want, you know?"

"No," I protested. "Absolutely not. You miss it, I can see that. And we can manage just fine, can't we Luka?"

Dimitri smiled gently at Luka, who was making cute little noises again. He'd been doing that a lot lately and it was something neither Dimitri nor I could get enough of hearing.

"You can call me at any time when I'm gone, ok?" he reminded me. "About anything – even the smallest thing."

"I know, I know, comrade," I stopped his worrying. "We've been through this a hundred times. I'll call you if we need _anything._"

He looked relieved that I'd agreed to contact him should I need help…but I was pretty sure I wouldn't have to. To be honest, this coming day was going to be much longer for him than it was for me, but Dimitri needed to get out of the apartment for a bit – even if it was for work.

The early morning hours passed fairly quickly and it was soon time for Dimitri to get up. Luka was back in his cot; spending his time yawning and watching Dimitri move around the room with vague interest.

"I'll see you later, Roza," Dimitri leaned down and kissed my lips once softly, then twice. "I'll call you when I get a chance, alright?"

"Alright," I answered tiredly, letting out a yawn of my own. Dimitri kissed Luka's cheek and said goodbye before returning back to my side again.

"Bye," he said quietly and kissed me again.

"Bye comrade," I let him kiss me another time.

Five minutes later, Dimitri was still by my side, giving me kisses every few seconds.

"I _think_ you have to go," I chuckled, giving him a tiny push. "You're going to be late; you know what my mom is like with tardiness." I sighed, remembering all the mornings I had tried to sneak in nearly an hour later than I should have been. Oh, they were the good ole' days.

"I know," he replied, and placed one last kiss on my nose. "I'm going."

He stood up to his full height and grabbed his keys and wallet. I hadn't seen him wearing his fancy work clothes in a while now…and boy, was it a pleasant sight.

Dimitri looked good in everything he wore, but he looked absolutely strikingly stunning in his black dress pants, fitted white shirt that showed his built muscles and his dress jacket and tie.

"I'll talk to you later, Agent Belikov!" I called out after him, receiving a chuckle in response. I heard the front door close behind him and turned to check on Luka. He was gazing at the bedroom door, as though expecting Dimitri to come walking back through. A few moments later, when Dimitri didn't, Luka started to whimper.

I sighed, sat up and pulled his cot a little closer to me so that I could reach him.

"Ssh, ssh," I tried to quieten him as his cries got a little louder. I held him close to my chest until his snivelling ceased and then placed him in the bed beside me. I wrapped my arm around his little body and snuggled us deeper into the covers, knowing I didn't have to get up for another while.

Luka had other plans apparently though, and decided that he _really _wanted Dimitri to be here with us. So instead of getting a lie-in, I spent my morning pacing around the apartment trying to soothe my crying baby.

Dimitri rang around late-morning, and I had to admit, that prior to his call, I had been panicking. The doctor had informed us that Luka should not cry too much or he could risk collapsing his lung.

And Luka had been crying for over two hours straight.

"Hey Roza," his voice came through the line, immediately calming my nerves. "Is Luka ok?"

"He won't stop crying…" I blurted out, trying to rock Luka a different way.

"How long has he been crying for?" He asked me, the concern palpable in his voice.

"Since you left. I think he misses you."

Dimitri was silent for a moment.

"Why don't you bring him down here to the office? Everybody's been asking me about you both."

I agreed to come down soon, liking the idea of seeing Dimitri earlier than planned. The quicker Luka calmed down, the better.

His cries lowered slightly as I wrapped him up in case he was cold. He was distracted by my moving about and only cried every so often. Finally, I managed to get my stuff together and carried him down to the car.

I studied the familiar FBI building with interest and fondness. _This _had been my pride and joy before I had gotten pregnant. I was only 18 when I'd joined the force, and immediately made my mark there – not because I was the daughter of Abe Mazur and Janine Hathaway, no. But because I was freaking awesome at my job.

I carried Luka's carrier inside the front doors, looking around for Dimitri. Not seeing him, I decided he was probably in his office and so made my way down the long corridors.

"Rose!" A girl I had known for a year or two walked out of a room nearby. Shannon, I recalled. She spotted me and hurried over. "How are you?!" She asked me, her always bubbling personality not failing to shine through.

"I'm good," I felt myself smile as she bent down to admire Luka.

"He's so gorgeous!" She cooed, tickling under his chin. "I was surprised when I heard you and Dimitri were going to have him," she told me, looking up. "I didn't even know you guys were together before that."

"Well, eh, we weren't," I explained a little awkwardly. Shannon looked like she wanted to kick herself for putting her foot in her mouth. "But we are now, and we're doing great."

"That's fantastic," she grinned, looking thankful the awkward moment had passed. "I'm just on my way to get these forms photocopied, so I'll talk to you later. When are you coming back?"

"Not for a few more months," I answered, shifting the carrier in my arms. "But I'm sure I'll be around before then."

We said a quick goodbyes and I continued my way to Dimitri's office. Arriving at his door, I saw it was open, and he was pouring over a stack of forms and statements.

I gave a gentle knock.

"Knock, knock, daddy." His head shot up at my voice and he hurried around the desk to us, his work forgotten for now.

"Hey," he gave me a small kiss and took the carrier, which was really starting to get heavy, from my arms. "What's this I hear about you crying all morning?" he placed Luka on top of his desk.

Luka was gazing around at his new surroundings with interest and curiosity. The car ride alone had comforted him a little, and now that he was about to be in Dimitri's arms, he was completely fine. The picture of a perfect little angel. Little did everyone else know…

I glanced across the hall to where my office was. The door was closed and I smiled at my name embedded with gold lettering on the door. The day I had gotten my own office, with my own name on the door, was one of the proudest moments of my career.

I slowly turned the handle and opened the door to see that everything was exactly as I had left it just under six months ago.

"You miss it?" Dimitri asked from behind me. I turned to see that Luka had his head resting in the nook of Dimitri's neck. Dimitri was gently rubbing his back in a small circular motion, obviously making Luka feel sleepy. It was a sweet sight, really.

"Yeah, I guess so," I realised. "Now that I'm here, I realise that I _do _miss it, I've just been too busy or too tired to notice."

"You'll be back before you know it," He kissed my head and then started pacing back and forth to settle Luka, who had kicked up a fuss once the attention was diverted away from him.

I was more than lucky to have a boyfriend who was so supportive of me and my job. He knew that I loved being with Luka, but also that one day, I would return to work like him. He just knew me like that. And thinking about it, I realised the word '_boyfriend' _didn't quite fit him…because he was so much more than that to me.

I left my stuff in Dimitri's office as we walked through the building slowly, Dimitri's work now abandoned. People stopped to say hi to me and to see Luka when we met them, and I couldn't help but feel that proud mother feeling I had heard so much about.

"I thought I heard my grandson," A booming voice said, coming from the kitchen doorway. I looked up to see none other than the Abe Mazur standing there.

"How's my boy?" He grinned and walked over in that powerful way of his. Automatically, people took a step back to make room for him – whether that was something they subconsciously or not, I didn't know. He held his arms out as if to take Luka into his arms, but I made to stand in front of Dimitri, and ergo, Luka.

"Rose." My father greeted me with that oh-so-familiar smile. It was friendly, and yet I had always got the feeling that I shouldn't trust that smile. "How have you been?"

"Fine, thanks for checking in on me." I scowled at him. Who did he think he was? Before the hospital, I hadn't seen or even talked to the man in over a month!

"Oh come on, don't be like that," he patted my shoulder. "You know what our jobs are like."

He moved around me to take Luka and I let him. I wasn't sure if I trusted him completely, but he wasLuka's grandfather after all. I was there to see Abe's reaction when he'd been born – and that was most definitely _not _someone who would ever hurt my child.

"Belikov," Abe gave Dimitri a polite nod, which he returned. "Glad to have you back on the force. We've been left in a bit of a lurch with two of our best agents on leave." He sent me a wink and then looked down at Luka, who was trying to reach up and grab my father's goatee. "Won't be too long before you'll be joining us once again, will it Rose?"

"No, Abe," I replied, feeling tired with the conversation. I'd already had it at least fifteen times already this morning. "Another couple of months and I'll be as right as rain."

My father suddenly cast Dimitri a strange look.

"Just as I suspected," he said. "You didn't tell her, did you?"

Dimitri didn't answer him. He did, however, look like he wanted to punch him.

"Tell me what?" I demanded, glancing between the two men.

"No, sir," Dimitri replied, sighing audibly.

"Tell me _what?" _I asked again, only focusing my attention on Dimitri. If I stared at him long enough, I just _knew_ I could get him to crack.

"Now, now, Rose," my father said in a nonchalant manner, drawing my eyes from Dimitri, who was obviously trying to avoid my gaze. "Be patient. For now, you need to let one of my best men here get back to work." Abe handed me Luka and started leading me towards the front door.

"Hey, wait a second!" I protested, breaking free of Abe's grip. I spun and stalked up to Dimitri.

"What are you keeping from me?" I demanded, this time meeting his gaze. He gave me a little signal that meant to follow him. I did and we ended up back in his office.

Dimitri didn't say anything as he took Luka from my arms and placed him into his carrier, careful to not wake him.

"Can we talk about this later?" he asked me quietly, casting a small glance towards the door to make sure no one was listening. "It's not really something I'm supposed to be talking about yet."

After a couple of moments of watching him and trying to decide what was going on, I agreed and said goodbye for now. My goodbye might have been a little abrupt, but I was mad that he and my father were keeping something from me.

I drove home, completely lost in my own thoughts. There was an endless possibility of what he could want to talk about…or what he was keeping from me. The only question was…

Was it a good thing? Or bad?

* * *

**AN – Response to Sarahloveshorses…**

**No problem :) Well, you don't have anything to worry about with me – I won't abandon any of my stories. I'm focusing more so on this story at the present moment and will switch back to Actors Dream soon enough. Glad you're enjoying them! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**You guys, I'm so sorry for whatever happened the last time. Chapter's 15, 16 or 17 were not actually posted at all so don't worry, you didn't miss out on anything :) This chapter 15 is the _real chapter 15_. So Enjoy! And make sure you've read chapter 14 because due to the stats and the lack of feedback, I know many of you didn't get to read it :)  
**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 15**

Dimitri returned home quite late that evening, claiming to have been trying to catch up on paperwork and had lost track of time. He arrived home, and almost immediately set into a fresh stack of countless amounts of reports every evening for the next two weeks.

Even though the curiosity about what he wanted to talk to me about was eating at me, I left him to it and busied myself putting Luka to bed or trying to clean the chaotic apartment, hoping that in his own time, he would come to me. The first couple of nights, I had waited up for a few hours for him to finish but once 2am rolled around, I gave up and retired to bed. As days went on, I just guessed that he would stay in his new routine, and so I snuggled into bed, hoping to catch some proper sleep before Luka woke me up to be fed.

One night, I was woken my Luka's whimpering from his bassinet next to me. Sitting up and taking him into my arms, I saw that Dimitri's side of the bed was still cold and untouched. After taking my time feeding Luka, I then strolled out into the living room with him still in my arms. His crying had ceased, but his whimpering hadn't. I knew that it would as soon as he felt drowsy enough to fall asleep in my arms.

Dimitri's sleeping form was slumped over the tiny table, his face buried in papers and information, a half-empty cup of cold coffee still in his resting hand.

"Hey," I whispered and nudged him gently. He started and shot up, nearly spilling his old coffee. He quickly started fixing his sheets that had scattered astray. "Come to bed, Dimitri. You're exhausted."

He ran his hand through his messy hair and tried to start back into one particular report.

"Dimitri, don't be an idiot," I told him, rocking Luka back and forth gently. He yawned greatly. "You're too exhausted to do any work that's actually productive."

"I'm fine, Rose," he replied, not looking at me. Luka's eyelids began to droop.

"Dimitri, seriously-"

"I said I'm fine, ok?" His stern tone took me by surprise…and Luka too, apparently. Dimitri hadn't thought to keep his voice low and had startled the baby, who started crying all over again.

I probably shouldn't have been, but I was angry at Dimitri for upsetting Luka – especially when it had taken me so long to get him to go to sleep in the first place. It would be _at least _another hour before he quietened again.

Dimitri and I had some words after that – some loud and heated words, I might add…but could you really blame us? It was 4am in the morning after all, and we were both drained.

I finally managed to get Luka slumbering once again and settled back into my side of the bed, which had gone cold. Dimitri didn't come to bed that night. For a while I thought he had kept working, but when I got up to feed Luka again in the morning, I saw that he had slept on the couch – our very small couch, meaning that he had had to curl up his body in a position that could not have been comfortable.

I felt bad about our fight during the night, and so I went into the adjoining kitchenette and put on a fresh pot of steaming coffee for him. I was glancing at snoozing Luka while I buttered some toast when Dimitri suddenly shot up off the couch.

"What time is it?" he asked, groping around for his phone.

"It's okay, it's only seven."

"Seven?" he repeated. "Why didn't you wake me?" I really didn't like his annoyed tone, but wanting us to be on talking-terms again, I let it go.

"You don't have to be down at the branch for another hour?"

"Not today," he replied, pulling on his shoes and quickly changing his shirt. "I told Abe I'd come in early to discuss…some work matters, and then I have extra files and accounts to read and write up two different reports on each of them.

"Okay. What kind of 'work matters' are you discussing with my-" The front door had slammed shut before I had even finished my question, leaving me holding a plate of toast and a cup of coffee, as well as a now bawling baby. "…father?"

Dimitri returned home late again that evening, and every evening for the next couple of weeks after that. My anger at him for walking out on me that morning defused as my exhaustion rose. I saw Dimitri early in the morning for less than ten minutes, and again when I was going to bed and he was returning from work. On those occasions when we did see each other, we didn't speak much; Dimitri was always preoccupied with either work stuff or speaking to my father about work stuff, and I was putting Luka to bed, changing him or feeding him.

Looking after the baby was now a fulltime job more than ever. And I felt like I was on my own. Dimitri didn't realise that when he went to work for twelve to fourteen hours at a time, Luka would cry for _hours_. And no amount of milk or baby talk could stop him. I had just sat down on the couch to try and ease my headache when Luka's crying rang through the small apartment again.

"Ugh!" I screamed into a pillow and tried to prepare myself for another round. Not to mention the fact that Dimitri wouldn't be home for another four or five hours to help me.

I couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes at that thought.

**DPOV**

To say that I was preoccupied with Abe's 'discussions' was an understatement. I was so stressed and undecided, not to mention that I couldn't get Rose in a good enough mood to talk to her about it.

"Told her yet?"

Rose's friends Mason and Eddie fell into step either side of me as I walked into work.

"No," I replied shortly, to which they both rolled their eyes.

"Dude, you gotta tell her!" Mason told me. "The longer you leave it, the worse it'll get."

"You think I don't know that?" I retorted. "I can't. Not yet."

The two men didn't say anymore. They walked inside with me and only went their separate ways when Abe approached me. I groaned internally and fought the urge to turn back around and walk out.

"Belikov!" Rose's father greeted me quite happily. "You decided?"

"No, not yet, sir," I replied politely. "I need more time to think about it."

"You still haven't talked to Rose, have you?"

I groaned.

"I take that as a 'no.' A little word of advice though," Abe went on. "You're running out of time."

"I know," I replied, starting to make my way towards my office. Abe left it at that and went to tend to something else.

I sighed when I saw the four stacks of paperwork sitting, waiting for me on my desk. It had built up over the months I had been gone because they're had been nobody in to do my job for me. It was shattering, but slowly, I was catching up with it.

I felt guilty for being gone from Rose and from Luka for so long every day, and sad. I missed them both like crazy. But I was sure that Rose knew how much extra work I had to put in in order to get my work life back on track. Once that was sorted, I'd be able to come home earlier and spend more time with them. I was getting a little worried about her though; her depression didn't seem to have been a major issue in the last while, but sometimes when I came home late, I could see the darkness in her face and eyes. I pushed the concern away as soon as I spotted the sky-high reports sitting on my desk.

For the rest of the day I did exactly the same as any other day this week and last week, but my mind was distracted with the thought of my girlfriend and baby at home – more so than usual. And so when four o'clock rolled around, I thought _screw it,_ and grabbed my jacket.

Being so early, I managed to avoid any major traffic on my way home. The sun was shining and it felt as though nothing in the world could possibly go wrong.

Boy, how wrong I was.

I arrived back at the little apartment Rose and I now shared, an ominous feeling sitting and growing in my stomach. It was an instinct I had had for a long time – almost like a sixth sense – and it was part of what made me so good at my job…

But in this very moment…I hated it.

Forgetting to worry about my car, I sprinted up through the staircase to the front door of our apartment, where I fumbled with the keys. I could hear Luka's screams from the other side and the threatening feeling expanded more. I had heard a lot of different cries from Luka, but nothing as distressed as this one.

Throwing my keys to the side, I decided to use the more physical was of getting inside…and slammed my body into the wood…once, twice and…I was in.

My heart felt as though it had stopped when the sight in front of me became clear.

Rose was sitting on the floor near the couch, arms around her knees and rocking herself repeatedly. Luka screaming about a foot away from her on the carpet, but his face was covered with a small blanket. I ran to their sides and dropped to my knees. Simultaneously , I pulled the blanket off of him and scooped Luka up into my arms while touching my hand to Rose's cheek.

"Rose?" No answer.

"Rose!"

She just continued to rock herself back and forth, muttering incoherently under her breath the whole time.

And in that moment, I had never been so frightened in my entire life.

The traces of darkness that I had seen appear in her face were nowhere to be seen. Now, it was if it had taken control of her totally. She wasn't Rose anymore.

_Please, please, please…_

The word was a constant stream in my head. All I was trying to do was make sure I kept inhaling and exhaling air, but it felt as though even that had been too much. I could barely hear Luka crying over the pounding of my own heart in my chest and brain.

Without thinking about it, I reached out and took a hold of Rose's arms and unwound them from her legs. Her head snapped up.

The world seemed to freeze as she stared at me with such pain and torture; like she was experiencing some kind of agony and turmoil.

"Rose," I spoke gently. "What happened?"

She didn't reply; just stared at me with that bottomless look of torment.

"Make it stop…" She managed to get out. "Please…"

"Rose." I shook her shoulders as her eyes closed and her hands wound themselves tightly into her hair; pulling at it. Her body went limp in my arms and I panicked.

I felt like breaking down but unfortunately, it didn't end there. Because Luka had been lying on the ground near Rose, suggested to me that maybe she had been holding him when she had collapsed. I checked him for any serious-looking bumps or bruises, but it was hard to tell if he was really hurt, or just in shock.

After calling an ambulance and repeating to myself to stay calm, I gently moved Rose's limp body so that she was leaning against me. I held her tightly and whispered things like 'don't worry' and 'everything is going to be okay,' hoping desperately that I was right.

Just as the paramedics arrived, Luka suddenly stopped crying. His eyes were shut tightly, and his breathing sounded shallow. My stomach dropped when I realised what was happening.

"Sir, is the baby alright?" A paramedic was suddenly beside me, her hands out to examine him.

"No, no he can't breathe!" I told him frantically. The paramedic looked shocked for only a second before taking Luka from my arms and setting to work. By the time I had raced down to the ambulances pulled up outside the building, they already had both Rose and Luka loaded in and being looked after. The medics were rushing back and forth between both vans, making it seem as though there were a swarm of people.

"Sir!" I glanced over to the ambulance carrying Rose. A paramedic was beckoning me over, allowing me to ride with them to the hospital. I was just jumping in the back when a hoarse voice spoke.

"No…" Rose's eyes opened ever so slight. "Dimitri, stay with Luka…he needs you."

Her voice was raspy and tired sounding, but there was a small monitor beside her, telling me her heart rate had come back up to almost normal.

"Please Dimitri…he'll be scared…"

I could feel myself being torn in half.

Thinking about it, maybe that wouldn't have been so bad. Then one half could go with Rose and the other with Luka…

But that wasn't how it was going to go. I knew what I had to do, but I hated having to make the decision.

"I'll see you as soon as you get to the hospital, ok? Don't worry." I told her. She gave a slight nod before her eyes closed again.

I quickly switched vehicles and then we were off, sirens blaring. Luka had been reunited with an oxygen mask, aiding him with his breathing. There were two paramedics either side of him, looking ready to start CPR should the mask fail.

I reached towards him, needing to let him know that I was there with him – whether he understood or not, I held on to his tiny foot. It was no bigger than my baby finger, making him seem tinier and more fragile than ever.

We arrived at the hospital at the same time Rose's ambulance did and they were unloaded. Doctors were waiting, already scrubbed up and ready to save lives. I held back and let them roll Luka and Rose into opposite rooms in A & E.

The ominous feeling in the pit of my stomach made itself known once again as I watched the paramedics try to save the lives of my family. I realised with a start that there was no way that I'd be able to be with both Rose and Luka at the same time – and yet I _needed _to be.

And so I did the next best thing.

"Hey, Ivan," I spoke when he answered the phone. "I need you."


	16. Chapter 16

**I know this story is not the happy, lovey-dovey story like Hook, Line and Sinker was…yet ;) From my own personal experience, I think it can get quite boring to read (and write) nothing but fluff and sappy stuff for an entire story. I've already done that in HLS. And so, I'm trying my hand with more drama and realistic problems new parents have to endure. Don't worry, once D & R settled into a routine, things will get much better :) Enjoy chap and please read short note at the bottom.**

**Chapter 16**

I did exactly what Rose asked me too and stayed by Luka's door. By chance, Rose was temporarily in the room across from his and being examined. They wouldn't let me in to see either of them because there were already more than enough people going back and forth to each room, assessing them.

I didn't quite know how I felt about the entire situation. I wasn't even sure what had happened back in the apartment. I slid down the wall and threaded my fingers into my hair, as if trying to pull out the confusion and the frustration. I really didn't know if I was angry at Rose for leaving Luka crying under a blanket on the floor, or at myself for thinking she was able to handle all of this by herself right now. I mean, we hadn't even gotten the level of her depression assessed and here I was, leaving her to look after herself _and_ a baby all the time.

And I hadn't exactly been much help when it came to taking care of Luka. Catching up with work and Abe's 'discussions' had completely taken over every thought in my mind – so much so that I'd neglected the two most important people in my life.

Right now, I wasn't happy about being torn between the two, but when Ivan arrived a couple of minutes later, he said he'd stay with Rose when they finally allowed one of us in, while I went to Luka. They wouldn't let me in to see him just yet either, which concerned me…a lot. Did that mean he was okay and they were just checking up on him? Or was it more serious? I hadn't been there the first time his lung had collapsed, and so wasn't sure what the symptoms had been. I desperately prayed that it hadn't collapsed a second time – Luka seemed to have Rose's strength, but he was still only small. There was only so much a seven-week old body could handle.

The door beside me opened and Ivan and I immediately scrambled quickly back onto our feel.

"Mr Belikov?"

"Is he alright?" I asked immediately, trying to get a peak over his shoulder to see Luka inside but I couldn't without pushing passed the doctor. Focusing in on the doctor's face, I realised it was the same man as before.

The grim look on his face make my stomach drop to the ground, and I very nearly walked away from him so that I didn't have to hear what I thought he was about to say.

"Your son is fine…for now," he told me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You were lucky that you found him when you did. His lung collapsed again but we've got him in a stable condition now."

"Shit…" My hand automatically went through my hair as I let out a deep sigh. "This is my fault."

The doctor suddenly gave my arm a squeeze.

"This is _not _your fault. The chance of this happening a second time was very possible."

"I should have been with them more," I told him. "I shouldn't have left Rose alone with him all of the time. Is she ok? Nobody will tell me anything."

"I haven't heard anything about her," he told me honestly. "Let me check in with my colleagues for you, alright? You can go in and see your son."

I thanked him as he passed by me and entered the other room. As I sat down by Luka's side, I realised how tense my muscles were, but no matter what I did, I couldn't get them to relax.

"Sir?"

I turned and saw a nurse standing in the doorway.

"You're Mr Belikov?" she checked and I nodded.

"Ms Hathaway is awake now and-" The nurse winced as a loud, gut-wrenching cry cut her off. I winced too, but not because it was loud. No.

Because I recognised the voice.

I rushed across the hall to where Ivan and a doctor were trying hopelessly to calm Rose down.

"Please…Let me see him! Please don't take him away from me!" The tears were cascading quickly down her cheeks and soaking her clothes. Ivan's frantic eyes met mine.

"Go to Luka." I instructed him and he hurried out of the room. Rose's previously unfocused gaze shot towards me.

"Dimitri…" her voice broke. "Dimitri, please…please don't take him from me…"

"Rose," I rushed to her side and curled my arms around her to make her feel safe. "Roza, look at me." Her wide, doleful and frightened eyes met mine and I felt my own heart break at the grief in her gaze. "I'm not going to take him away from you, ok? We're not going anywhere."

A look of confusion crossed her face and she began struggling again. The doctor who had backed off a little when she had calmed down, was back on her other side again.

"You should!" She yelled, hitting my chest with her fist. "I'm not able to look after him! I'll hurt him!"

"No, you won't," I told her gently. "Roza, please calm down."

Her dejected eyes met mine once again as her limbs went weak. "I _put _the blanket over him, Dimitri," she whispered, absolute agony clear in her voice. "_I_ was the one who didn't comfort him when he was crying. I tried, I did! _So _hard…but the crying went on for so long…and so I put a blanket over his head!"

I was silent as I processed what she had said. She'd _put_ the blanket over him to try and muffle his cries…

"Dimitri…please say something…"

"Why?" I wasn't surprised to hear the hardness in my voice. "Why did you put a blanket over his head?"

"I-" She just stared at me, that same look on her face. "I'm not really sure…" A sob burst out and she struggled to stay upright. I didn't lean forward to help her this time. I needed to know the truth.

"Rose_, why did you try to hurt him?"_

"Sir." a doctor behind warned me as my voice rose a little.

Rose looked shocked. "I didn't mean to, I swear!" She gasped as she tried to get her explanation out through her sobs and deep breaths. "It's just…I'm _so_ _incredibly _tired, Dimitri…I mean, you have no idea how hard it is to look after him 24 hours a day! He just _kept _crying…and all I knew was that I _needed _some quiet – even for a moment – and so I put a blanket over him." She took another deep breath and waited for me to speak. When I didn't, she panicked.

"Please, Dimitri! I didn't mean it! You can't take him away from me, please!"

"I-" I took a deep breath of my own and stood up. "I need some air." Without another word, I turned and left the room, ignoring Rose's pleas as I did so.

Out in the car park, I kicked the tire of the car in frustration and anger.

_God, this wasn't her fault. It was mine. I was the one who went back to work. I was the one who came home late every night – so late that sometimes she was already asleep. I was the one who left all of the responsibility of the baby on her, even though I knew she hadn't been dealing with the aftermath of having a baby too well._

"Shit." I sat down on the curb of the footpath, just taking some time to think before I went back inside to talk to her. I didn't blame her – I really didn't. But there was no way I could trust her to be alone with Luka anymore – not until she was better at least.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

"_You alright man?"_

Ivan's text reminded me of what was going on back inside while I was sitting out here, and so I pulled myself together and headed back to the rooms. I stopped outside Luka's and gave Ivan a little grateful nod, and then returned to Rose's room.

There were more people in there when I did – strangers in long white doctor's coats.

"Please…please…" Rose was muttering away to no one in particular as some checked her heart, others her blood pressure and one was even about to assess her mentally.

"Rose…" she froze at the sound of my voice.

"No…" she whispered, her hands gripping her hair. "Please stop torturing me!"

"Roza, it's me," I ever so gently eased her hands off of her head and tilted it sideways to look at me.

"Dimitri…" Her eyes moistened again. "I thought you left me. You came back…"

"I'll always come back to you, Rose." I gave her a small, genuine small and then turned to answer the psychiatrist's questions.

It was well over an hour later when she was finally finished evaluating Rose.

"Now, I want you to listen to me Rose." The doctor placed her clipboard on a cabinet and walked around to her side. Rose's eyes followed her every move as her hand clasped mine tightly.

"I'm not crazy," she told her firmly. "I'm not! Sometimes I'm completely fine! It's just at times…" she trailed off as the doctor pulled a chair up beside her.

"I know you're not crazy, Rose," she gave her a sincere smile. "Believe me, I've seen crazy - you're nowhere _near_ it." Rose sighed and nodded looking relieved, as if there was a part of her that maybe thought she was.

"Often after having a baby," she began, looking from Rose to myself and then back again. "Postpartum hormones can be all over the place. Generally, they have a calming effect but sometimes the body chemistry goes a little haywire. I know from experience how overwhelming and scary it can be when you feel like a stranger in your own body. The hormones overpower every other thought in your mind until you don't even feel like yourself anymore." Rose's tears were back again as she nodded.

"You know what it's like?"

"Oh, I know," the psychiatrist smiled at her. "I have four kids, but the first time was the worst. I know how terrifying it can be, Rose." Rose nodded again and I gave her hand a little squeeze.

"I'm sorry, Dimitri. I'm so sorry-"

"Rose, stop," I leaned in closer to her so that my forehead was resting against her temple. "I know…Well, I don't _know_…but I know that you would never, _ever_ intentionally hurt Luka."

She pulled away so that she could look in my eyes.

"Can I see him?" My eyes flicked to the doctor's, wondering if it was safe.

Rose looked hurt again. "I won't hurt him, Dimitri! I just want to hold him and tell him I'm sorry."

"It's not you, Rose," I told her carefully. The doctor was watching Rose with steady eyes, readying to jump in if Rose panicked again. "It's Luka. He's…He's not well."

Rose's eyes widened as she froze.

"Wh- What do you mean not well?" she whispered, a glint in her eyes daring me to tell her the truth.

"His- It's by no means your fault, ok? But his lung collapsed again."

Rose's hand covered her mouth in shock. "Oh my god…"

The psychiatrist stepped forward to intervene. "The important thing to remember is it's not your fault, Rose."

"The hell it isn't!" She yelled back, recovering from her shock. "I wasn't supposed to let him cry for too long!"

"No, Rose," I gripped her wrist and made her look at me. "His doctor told me that it was inevitable. It would have happened no matter who was looking after him."

Nobody said anything as we all waited for Rose to let this information sink in.

"Dimitri?" Ivan called me from the doorway. "Doc wants to talk to you."

"Go," Rose told me when I glanced from him to Rose. "I need to know that he's really going to be ok. And you're the only one I trust to tell me the whole truth."

And so I followed Ivan out the door and into Luka's room.

"How is he?" I asked the doctor, who was already waiting patiently for m.

"He's doing very well – much better the second time around. We'd still like to keep him a couple of nights for observation however."

I sighed in relief. I counted my lucky stars; they were both going to be ok.

**Short AN – **

**I'm going to be going away for a bit but fear not! I have the updating covered. So, I'm signing off for now, and the next couple of chaps won't be uploaded by me, but yes, I have written them. :) hope you guys and enjoy them and it'd be nice to come home to a nice handful of reviews so… ;) hint hint :P**


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